Relationships - A MDE FanFiction

Chapter 26

Alex's P.O.V

"Shannon" I shakily whispered. Was there a chance she didn't see?

"Alex" She spoke in the same tone that I did and couldn't stop staring at my arms.

"Ermm...what are you doing up here?" I asked, regaining some volume to my voice.

"Seeing where you was because you was taking forever" Shannon still maintained her tone from before.

"Oh. Sorry. Are we going to go downstairs?" I spoke up. My technique was to pretend like nothing had happened. Nothing might not have happened. Judging by Shannon now, she saw them.

"Are we going to talk about it?" Shannon now regained her speech.

"Talk about what? Johnnie's story earlier? That was so funny. What's your favourite bit about it?" I nervously laughed as I tried to change the subject.

"You know what I want to talk about" Shannon coldly told me. It was a definite, she knew. God! I should have been more careful! I was so stupid. I bought it all on myself.

"Yes" I barely whispered as I hung my head in sorrow.

"So, how old?" Shannon sternly asked, sitting on the edge of my bed.

"A couple of years. Johnnie kindly did let everyone know that I used to self-harm" I replied.

"They don't look a couple of years old" Shannon added.

"They are" I fought my case back.

"Alex, I can tell which ones are old on you and which ones are new" Shannon looked at me with pitiful eyes. I hated being looked at like that. Like I couldn't be trusted. Like I wasn't sane.

"Well you're not doing a good job at it because you've got it all wrong" I snidely put.

At that moment, as soon as the words left my mouth, Shannon grabbed me and pulled up one sleeve. Fresh cuts and old cuts were littered up my arm and wrist. Shannon was right, you could tell which ones were old and which ones were new. I quickly pulled the sleeve back down againz

"Now will you tell me the truth?" Shannon desperately spoke.

"Fine" I sounded defeated.

"So, when was the last time you did it?" Shannon began her inquiry.

"About a couple of weeks ago" I replied, lying of course.

"So, did you stop when Johnnie stopped?" Shannon continued.

"Yes. For a bit but then I started again. Two weeks ago was the first and last time I did it since me and Johnnie both stopped" I half-lied to Shannon. I did stop for a few years but then I continued.

"Okay" Shannon thought out loud.

"Please don't tell him" I started crying now. This would destroy Johnnie.

"He needs to know..." Shannon began, still looking at me with the pitiful eyes as she grabbed one hand and held it.

"No he doesn't. I'll stop. I have stopped. It was a one time thing. I can control this. Please, I'll do anything to not have him know. It would kill him. We both made a promise three or four years ago that we wouldn't do it anymore. He said it was a battle that both of us had to give each other strength for. If he knows I did it, he'll feel so destroyed" I begged, still crying. I didn't want Johnnie to know. That was the last thing that I wanted.

"Okay okay. I won't tell Johnnie only if you promise not to do it again" Shannon agreed.

"Thank you thank you thank you! I won't, I promise" I expressed my gratitude.

"Have you only done it on your arms?" Shannon questioned.

"Err...yeah. Only arms" I obviously lied. I need to get better at it and quick.

"Really?" Shannon probed on.

"Yeah. I promise" I told Shannon. I listed all the parts of my body that I had cut on in my head; arms, wrists, legs, belly and hips.

"Okay. Where's your razors?" Shannon said in defiance.

"Errmm" Was all I could say. The request threw my off. This is what it's going to be like with Shannon so if she told everyone else, I wouldn't be trusted with blunt scissors left alone razors.

"Alex" Shannon spoke in a mothers tone.

"Bottom draw, over there" I said in a sullen tone, pointing to a small mini jewellery box which held a draw in the bottom. Shannon walked over to it and attempted at opening it.

"It's locked" Shannon stated.

"The key is next to it" I replied, still upset. I managed to stop crying now.

Shannon unlocked it and a gasp left her lips. She held up the contents of the draw in her hand. The razors, about five of them, were caped in dry blood that now looked brown.

"This is disgusting, Alex" Shannon sounded like she was going to cry.

"I know" I started crying again.

"We're always here for you. Everyone. You need to let everyone know or you need to stop" Shannon advised me.

"I will stop. I've promised. There are my razors. I can't tell anyone else" I repeated what I said earlier to her again.

"Good. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here" Shannon smiled.

"I know" I weakly smiled back at her.

"Come with me" Shannon instructed, grabbing my hand and walking me into the toilet.

Shannon handed me the razors as we were over the toilet.

"You need to promise me you won't do it again and this is how. Hold her hand out above the toilet" Shannon told me so I did.

"Now,open her hand out" Shannon gave her final instruction. I was so nervous, I didn't want to. I didn't want to flush my blades away. I needed them. I eventually released and saw, one by one, each blade fall into the toilet. Shannon then flushed the chain and I saw my chance of escape disappear.

"See, it's not that hard" Shannon grinned at me.

"Hmmm" I merely replied back.

"You'll be fine. Here, give me a hug" Shannon reached out to me and pulled me into a huge hug.

"I'm proud of you. Now I won't tell Johnnie or anyone. Remember that if you ever want to talk about anything, I'm here to help" Shannon remained helpful throughout this whole process which was why I was feeling really guilty. I was feeling guilty because I still had one blade hidden. I was guilty because I didn't tell the truth. I was guilty because I could do nothing but lie to Shannon. I just continued to hug her as she smiled at, what she thought, was a good result.

A/N

Another update as a way of saying sorry for being so inactive. Thanks to everyone for commenting, reading and voting. I know I keep saying it but it does mean a whole lot to me.

Shoutout: This updates shoutout goes to @tomanyships because they have been commenting and voting for a while now and there comments always makes me smile and give me the inspiration to write more and continue with the story.

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