Cracks In Our Hearts [BWWM]

32.Closure

After a long flight we landed in Chicago. It was about 3:00 am Saturday morning, I forgot about the time difference. But it was okay because our flight home was at 9:00 Sunday morning. I missed my family and wanted to see them and David felt the same. We landed midway airport like last. I looked at the text from Ms.Luca for the thousand time in the last four hours. 

"Ready to go?" David asked pulling up in the car.

I smiled and got in looking at the nice car.

"You drive better now?" The remark made him smile.

"Yeah, your American so I'm going to come here again. I need to learn some of the things you people do in Chicago." He pulled off and I looked out the window.

I looked at the passing building and life here was so normal to me. I remember life with me and Jessica stealing on the streets. I loved that life just us but even if I didn't know it then I'm happy she met Franklin. If she never met him I wouldn't be with the best thing in my life.

"David, I love you." I whispered to myself.

His hand landed on my leg rubbing it up and down gently.

"I love you to Hershey." He removed his hand from me and focused on the road.

I felt like I was going to face him again after all this time. After all I've been threw he was still standing in my way of happiness. I just want to talk to him, make him apologise for what he did to me, for taking a part of me from me. I wanted a lot of things and I could never get them and it made me feel angry, sad, confused and lost.

"Leanna?" David said making me jump.

"Yeah?" I looked at him but his expression was nothing.

He nodded forward and I look to see that we made it to the grave yard. I checked my phone and it was Resurrection Cemetery like Ms.Luca said. But I still didn't move from my seat. David grabbed my phone and got out looking at the text. He walked into the grass looking around following the directions and pictures she sent.

I didn't want to see that head stone but I had to. I wanted to tell him how he hurt me but I wanted to tell him how much I missed him to. My head was starting to hurt and I knew why. This was to much but I had to do this, I'm not that same fearful girl anymore. I'm a woman now, and married woman with a great future of head of her.

I stepped out and followed where I saw David go. After about two minutes I found him stand over a grave. I walked to him rubbing my hand over his arms and stepping in front of him. The last name was all I need to see to for me. Roberto Emilio Luca I just looked at it, something about it didn't feel real.

I could still see him, hear him, smell him and ever part of me felt sick. I'm not sure if I hate him, I'm not sure if I love him but I want to talk to him. I regret never having the guts to say anything to him. I want to kill him, I want to tell him how I won this. I'm happy and he can't take it away. I got on my knees and looked at the headstone.

"No." Was all I said threw the tears that started.

"Leanna." David said grabbing my shoulder.

"No! He doesn't get to just die. He can't just get away with what he did to me!" I scream.

I clawed at the ground pulling grass and dirt out. I wanted to see his face, I wanted to forced him to say sorry. David pulled at my arms as I dug deeper into the ground.

"Stop!" David yelled pulling me from the ground.

I kick and scream at him trying to get away from him.

"You don't understand!" I yelled as he held me still.

"No I don't get it. I don't understand why your still mad about this." He pulled my hands up to my face showing me my bloody hands and broken nails.

"I don't get why you can't understand you won. He's dead and your here, with me happy. He's just a another dead man the world will forget about, but your here." He gave me a stern yet loving look.

"All I want is a apology from him." I looked at the headstone.

"Well your not getting one and if he was alive you still wasn't getting one. You have to except what happened and move on. Because that's all you can do now. Look at me and tell me what he did to you." He released me and I looked at him.

"You already know what he did." I said turning to the grave.

"Yeah, but I want to hear you say it." He grabbed my shoulder forcing me around.

I didn't want to say it out loud, I didn't want to look at my husband and tell him I was orally raped by my father. I didn't want to look at him and tell him another man touched me period.

"Leanna!" He yelled at me.

I didn't look up at him and I didn't respond to him.

"Leanna!"

"He raped me! That's what he fucking did to me. Every night since I was a fucking child he raped me. I fucking hate him, my first though when I think of sex shouldn't be my father it should be you but it's not. I hate that I can't change things and I hate more that he can't give me the apology I deserve."

"I love you Leanna and so does all of them." David said moving to the side.

Logan, Conner and Rowan were stepping out of a car.

"I called them because I knew this would happen." David said as Logan walked up first followed by the others.

We all stood in silence as I looked at the four of them.

"I love you Leanna." Logan said looking at my hands.

"I know you all do." I said turning to the grave again.

I'm not sure why but I couldn't let this go it was just something I couldn't put my finger on but it was stopping me.

"Baby I know I don't understand and I won't ever understand. I had things happen to but I won't understand your pain. But I do know two thing one you have to except that you can't change these thing. They happened and that's just it to it. Secondly none of this was your fault." David said touching my shoulder.

Something about that last sentence made me feel....better.

"It's not my fault." I whispered.

To my surprise I smiled at the headstone.

"It's not to my fault." I said louder.

I started to laugh almost to hard and cry almost to hard. I turned and looked at them and they where all in a state of confusion.

"I'm ready to go home." I said.

"Really?" Rowan said.

"Yeah, I just want to go home." They all started for the car and David looked at me.

I nodded to him and he smiled walking to the car. I turned to the grave and took a deep breath.

"Dad, because that's what you are to me. I love you, because without you I wouldn't be standing here today. You helped me get here and I want to thank you for that. Everything else doesn't matter anymore because those aren't my sins to pay for. I'm leave that pain and your memory right here. I'm done living like this was all my fault, it wasn't and I'm done with it." I placed my hand on the cold stone before I head to David.

"Better?" He asked stepping in the car.

I got in with him and smiled at the road.

"A lot better since I got in the car with you."

Logan quickly got into the back seat and smiled at us both.

"Can we go sightseeing?" He asked sitting back.

Me and David but let out a sight.

"Alright." We said together.