I wish that I could wake up with Amnesia...

15 - We Get So Disconnected

I immediately pulled away from Luke, wondering how I could possibly make this not look like it was. I looked in the doorway to see Minho. "I guess I can come back another time," Minho said, his eyes going back and forth from Luke to me.

"I was just...cleaning him up," I said, immediately dipping the rag in water and applying it to a deep cut on Luke's arm, causing him to wince.

"Right." Minho's eyes squinted.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I was going to talk to Luke about the maze." Minho looked at Luke. "If you hadn't gotten shucking hurt, we would have made you a runner."

Luke exhaled, his head going back.

"Anyway, I guess I'll talk to you later," Minho said, leaving, and closing the door behind him.

Luke looked at me. "Why do you always seem ashamed to kiss me?"

"Both times shouldn't have happened," I bluntly said. "I like Newt." I began rushing with washing Luke's cuts.

"Shuck, why are you rushing?" Luke asked. "For real.....shucking hell-"

"I have things to do," I said, finishing up. "I'll be back tonight to check up on you. Not because I want to, but because its my job." I left, and quickly ran outside to find Minho only to have someone grab my arm and pull me behind the building. It was Minho.

"Do you kiss all your patients, Jenessa?" Minho demanded.

"No," I said.

"What the shuck is going on? Does Newt know you're basically cheating on him? He's my best friend, Jenessa. I can't see him get hurt anymore...and especially from you. Shuck, he's better off without a slinthead like you."

"Minho.." I said. "Please. I'll talk to Newt. I'll tell him the truth. I promise."

Minho glared at me. "Fine. Do it now. I'll talk to Newt later to see if you actually did. And I'll go talk to Luke." Minho turned to go back into the building and I walked out to the gardens.

"Hey Jenessa," Newt said, standing up. "Just in time, I just got done here. Ready to go to dinner?"

"I'm not hungry quite yet. Can we go on a walk?"

Newt smiled. "Yeah, of course."

We began walking in silence, and then I finally spoke up. "Newt..I need to talk to you about something."

"What's up?" He asked, his voice filled with concern. His hand brushed against mine as we walked, but he then interlocked his fingers with mine, giving my stomach butterflies.

"I really, really like you, Newt.." I began. "I don't want to lose you."

Newt squeezed my hand with his. "Hey. You're not going to lose me."

I didn't want to become manipulative, but I didn't know what else to say. "Yeah...I will."

"For the record, I like you too, Jenessa," Newt said.

For the record, I'm a horrible person.

"I kissed Luke again today," I spit out. "I don't know what came over me. It's like...I hate him so much. So shucking much...and yet, I feel affectionate toward him, like out of instinct. I think we were something before we ended up here."

Newt's hand let go of mine.

"But I don't like it. I want it to stop...because I like you..a lot."

"Listen," Newt said, and stopped walking so he could face me. "Maybe you should talk to Luke about this. I mean, if you're feeling instincts...that's something no one feels here. Maybe you should trust them."

"I don't want to trust them, Newt. Aren't you listening to me?"

"I think you do want to trust them. Why else wouldn't you kiss him?"

I bit the inside of my mouth to keep myself focused on something other than bursting into tears. "I don't know," I whispered.

"I'm not sharing you with some attempted punk dude that apparently was in a band once. I'm not. I can't shucking do it."

"Newt.." I said, a tear rolling down my cheek. I couldn't hold it anymore.

"No. Don't..." Newt said, and exhaled. "You don't shucking get it."

"I don't get it? You don't get it-"

"Shut up," Newt said. "You have no idea how the Glade was before you got here. You have no idea....you don't know klunk. Okay?"

I broke eye contact and looked away from him, wiping my cheeks of tears.

"It's just," Newt said, his voice softer, "I'm at such a vulnerable point in my life. I can't let you hurt me, and with Luke...I know you will."

"But you're hurting me," I said, my voice raised more than it should have.

Newt gently put his hand in mine, causing me to face him again. With his free hand, he gently touched my neck, and his eyes flashed from my eyes to my lips. When he got closer to my lips, he stopped less than half a foot away. With his eyes squinted at me with an intense glare, he said, "Stop making everything about you."

When he walked away, I felt as if I had died inside.

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A/N:
Sorry it took so long to update, life just got busy and what not

I'm definitely going to see the Scorch Trials tomorrow and I'm not ready for it. I regret reading the books before watching the movies because my expectations are so high