Her Unwanted Love (Salvador Series #1)

Chapter 24

Chapter 24

"Some things just can't be put back together. Some things can never be fixed. Two broken pieces can't make a lot of anything anymore. But at least he had the broken pieces."
―Jamie Ford

***

They say if you want to find the trail, if you want to find yourself, you must explore your dreams alone.  You must grow at a slow pace in a dark cocoon of loneliness so you can fly like wind, like wings, when you awaken.

Before, I never had any dream other than to meet the love of my life, love him and marry him and stay with him 'til forever. Years ago, I always thought I can do all things. I can survive every little bit of pain, every little bit of hardship thrown at me, as long as I have him. But there's this one turning point in your life that makes you realize what you really wanted in life. That you never really need someone to be strong. Despite of being alone for years, I was able to do more. I achieved more. I found myself. I found who I really am and what my purpose of living is.

Do you want to live being anybody's shadow? Do you want to live freely? Do you want to live alone? Do you want to live with the hardship? Do you want to fight even though you don't have the chance of winning? Or do you choose to still love though you know it is a hopeless case to be loved back?

Everything changed by that one blink of an eye. My dreams changed after I heard that little cry. My purpose of living changed just 3 minutes after that little cry. I will live each day for my children. I'm waking up to love them unconditionally. I'm waking up to find myself that is worthy to be called their mother.

"Mom! Mom-my! Play! Gale want's play! Rain! Play!"

Napakamot ako sa aking ulo nang sunud-sunod ang pagngawa ni Gale. Nais nyang maglaro sa labas ng bahay, kasama iyong ibang batang naghahabulan sa gitna ng ulan. Napasapo ako sa aking noo at hinarap ang aking bunsong anak.

"No. Gale is not allowed to play in the rain because you're sick, baby."

"No!" umimpit sya ng iyak at nagtantrums sa ibabaw ng sofang nilagakan ko sa kanya. "Play si G-Gale s-sa rain eh! Want p-play sa r-rain eh!" Pumadyak-padyak sya sa ibabaw nun habang ngumingiwi. Malalaking butil ng luha ang kumawala sa kanyang medyo chinitang mata na nahinuha ko'y namana nya yata sa akin.

"Gale, bawal," mariin kong sagot. Nilapitan ko sya't niyuko para kargahin mula sa sofa. Umiiyak pa rin sya habang nakaub-ob ang mukha sa balikat ko. "Ssshh. Hush na baby Gale," pinatahan ko sya at mahinang hinaplos-haplos ang kanyang buhok at likuran.

"Pe-Pero gusto k-ko ..." sumigok siya. "P-P-Play!"

Napailing na lamang ako at pumasok sa aming kusina. "'Wag na mapilit, baby ko. Magluluto nalang ako ng fried chicken!" masaya kong sambit pero tumulis lamang ang kanyang cute na nguso. "Okay ba 'yon, baby Gale?" tanong kong muli at nilapag siya sa ibabaw ng kitchen island. Hindi siya sumagot, bagkus ay ngumiwi lamang at tinuro ang bintana. Gustung-gusto nya talagang lumabas para maglaro, she found the rain fascinating, like me.

"Alam ko na!" nginisihan ko si Gale. "Play nalang tayo ni kuya Gray ng doll house! Diba masaya 'yon? Tapos mag-tea party tayo!" para akong may topak na nagkukwento sa tatlong taong gulang kong anak.

Umiling siya sa akin, "Ayaw!" at ngumuso.

Huminga akong malalim at napaface-palm. May pagkakulit rin itong babae ko kumpara sa kakambal nyang lalaki.

Higit tatlong taon na rin ang lumipas nang dumating silang dalawa sa buhay ko. They became my source of strength. They became the air I breathe. They became my purpose of living. They became my everything.