Confused Much? // l.t

21: Hidden Feelings

Louis’ POV:

When Liam meant that we all needed a nice, long break, my mind didn’t process what he exactly meant by that. Of course, the repetitive idea of staying here in New York crossed my mind multiple times – as I had the blatant idea of spending our break in the busy city. However, the minute I heard a chorus of excited shouts from the living area of our hotel room, all the way from my bed, the idea still never struck me. What were they cheering about?

Hustling off my bed and out the foreign bedroom door, my feet led myself to where the four boys were situated. It was two days after we all went swimming, since then I’ve – for some reason not known by any of us – kept my distance from the boys. Me showing up in front of them soon will cause them surprise.

But hey, it’s not like I was dead or something.

Once I took my time and made to where they were, I stood in the doorframe waiting for them to notice me. Normally, I’d jump in with the small standing crowd giving each other manly hugs. Although at this moment, I wasn’t quite in the mood. In fact, running though my mind, I have to admit that I felt more than a bit left out.

In reality, I’ve got nothing to complain about. After all, I’ve isolated myself.

The first one of the group to notice my disheveled body in the doorframe was Harry. He was in the middle of giving a hug to Niall when he saw my face peeking at every one else’s. At once, his eyes lit up with joy and relief. As if he actually cared about my endless hours locked up in my hotel room.

“Louis!” He cheered, familiar dimples slicing his cheeks into two. Finishing his hug, he scampered over to me, pulling me into one of our own.

“Harry,” I breathed out, feeling as if a one hundred pound weight was being lifted off my chest.

He rubbed my back caringly, and turned around to face the rest of the boys. Their eyes were filled with the same emotions Harry’s were, I was beyond grateful. As we made our way to the rest of the boys, we all,in sync, fell onto a couch cushion. Beside me I was brought with the pleasant presence of Zayn, whom was giving me a knowing and caring look.

“Good to see you Louis, nice to see you’re alive.” Niall said, sounding cheerful. Although, as he spoke the last part of his sentence… I couldn’t help but wonder if he really though I would go the extreme extent of deciding not to live. Was my condition really that bad?

No, I thought, it’s just an expression.

I let out a somewhat forced laugh, earning me with a pained look from everyone else. Soon, I caught the eye of Niall once again. This time, a rising look of excitement took over his baby-like features. A grin made it’s way onto his face, and suddenly, he jumped off the couch. With a spring in his step, he jumped once more landing perfectly on his two feet.

What the hell is going on?

“Louis,” His eyes twinkled in exhaustion from the multiple jumps he previously did. Still, a hopeful and cheerful aurora was still circulating around him, almost making me grin along with everyone. “Guess what?”

“What?” Eagerly, I replied. Curious and a bit confused to what was making everyone have out of the blue adrenaline rushes.

“We’re going back home.”

My heart stopped beating right then and there.

“W-what are you talking about?” My voice stuttered uncontrollably, stunned at the news.

Niall however, didn’t seem to catch my awfully surprised drift. Instead, he made me incredibly anxious.

“You’re excited, too! That’s fantastic, Louis. The boys and I cannot wait to get home.” He chirped, sounding quite feminine. Almost like the schoolgirls I used to go to Primary School with. It’s so long ago that I can’t help but feel very freaking old.