Stumbling Through It {C.H}

Chapter 8

I squinted at my laptop screen, scouring the internet. I took what Cami said to heart and began to look for a new job in journalism. I propped my elbow up on the table, leaning my cheek into my palm. I yawned, clicking open my email to send an application to a newspaper for a paid internship. Newspapers weren't super popular, and hadn't been for a while, since being replaced by the internet, but I figured it was a good start. I sent in two more applications to a parenting magazine, and a fashion website. They weren't exactly the topics I was interested in writing about, but it still would beat Toys-R-Us. I shut my laptop, rubbing my eyes and glancing at the clock. I decided to hit the hay, and I went to my bedroom, changing into my pajamas.

I was about to turn off my light when my phone buzzed.

Calum
Babysitting tomorrow at 5 pm?

Ellie
Yeah I'm free

Calum
Thanks :)

Ellie
No problem

=

I was grateful to get all these babysitting jobs from Calum, not only did I enjoy being with Daniel, but I was also paid well, which helped a lot. I babysat at least once a week, and the extra cash really added up.

"I should be back at 10 tonight. Daniel can go to bed at the usual time." Calum told me when I arrived.

"Alright, see you then!" I waved him off. I joined Daniel on the couch, where he was eating a grilled cheese sandwich, and watching a children's program.

"Hello Daniel, how are you?"

"Good." He answered, his eyes still fixed on the screen.

"Is there anything you wanna do?" He just shrugged. "Nothing at all?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No, I just wanna watch tv." He told me. So that's what we did. I could tell that Daniel was more tired than usual, his eyes drooping as he watched his show. He leaned against my arm, cuddling up to me.

When it was time for him to go to bed I said, "Okay Daniel let's go-" I looked to him, and found the boy sleeping peacefully against my arm. I smiled down at him, picking him up gently, carrying him up the stairs, and tucking him into bed.

=

The front door burst open, while I was watching tv. I screamed, almost falling off the couch. I jumped up, grabbing the tv remote, preparing to defend myself against the intruder. My body filled with relief when I realized it was just Calum. I was not looking forward to fighting someone off with a remote.

"Oh my god Calum, you scared me!" I said, but furrowed my eyebrows when I got a better look at him, "Are you alright?" I asked. He was clearly drunk, as he stumbled over to me, reeking of alcohol. But he also looked as if he had been crying, his eyes were bloodshot (which also could have been because he was drunk) and his face was blotchy.

"No." His voice cracked. He leaned his head on my shoulder and began crying. I wasn't sure what to do, and I began to awkwardly rub his back, trying to calm him down. We were hardly friends, and I was unsure of how to help him.

"What's wrong?"

"Everything!" He sobbed.

"You have to be more specific." I sat back down on the couch, and he did the same, leaning against me, still crying on my shoulder.

"I saw her. She was there. With her stupid husband."

"Who is she?" I tried to get him to tell me more, I couldn't help him if I didn't know what happened.

"Amy. My ex wife, Amy. And her husband." He clarified, "They were at the bar."

"Oh."

"All-" Calum hiccuped, "All the memories came back. I remembered him. I remembered him, because she was the guy she cheated on me with."

"She cheated on you?!" I gasped.

He nodded, sniffling, "She cheated on me for months, and I never caught on. I'm so stupid."

"No, no! You're not stupid! I've been cheated on too, I know how it feels..."

"No you don't understand! We were married, we had a flipping baby, and she cheated on me!" He bawled, soaking my shirt sleeve in tears, "When I found out, she told me she had stopped loving me after we had gotten married. She only st-st-stayed with m-me for so long be-because I had money and was famous." He stuttered.

I found myself clenching my jaw, my mouth filling with a bitter flavor of hatred.

"We got divorced," Calum continued with a slur, "And she ran off with her boyfriend. She didn't even want to be a part of Daniel's life. And I didn't want her to. But my heart broke every time Daniel asked about her. He was so young and confused. I still haven't told him the truth."

I shook my head, "He shouldn't know. He is too little, that's not something he should have to know. He shouldn't have to deal with the fact that his mom didn't care enough about both of you."

Calum nodded in agreement, "Neither of us had seen her since she left. But tonight she was there. With him. She didn't even ask how I was, or how her son was. She just rubbed it in my face that she got remarried, making out with her new ass of a husband, and grinding against him."

"You- you don't still love her do you?" I asked softly.

His head shot up, looking me in the eyes, "Hell no!"

"Then why were you so jealous?"

"Because, because she was such a horrible rotten bitch, but she was still happy and loved. And I'm just a single dad. All my friends are married or in a relationship, and I'm just struggling to take care of my son."

I placed my hand on his, giving it a comforting squeeze, "But you are doing an amazing job. You are raising him all by yourself and he is turning out to be a great kid. Daniel is one of the sweetest kids I've met."

Calum nodded, "I know, god bless him. I love him more than I ever thought possible. He is the light of my life, and he keeps me going."

"Forget Amy, she poisoned your life. You gotta be strong for Daniel. He needs you."

Calum sniffled, and wiped tears off his cheeks, "Thank you. So much." He looked straight at me. Sadness filled his brown and bloodshot eyes. He held my hand that was on top of his. He leaned forward placing his lips on mine, kissing me softly.