Stumbling Through It {C.H}

Chapter 12

I hummed Don't Stop as I walked the isles of Toys R Us. I loved working on Monday nights, because it was the least busiest day. I could just zone out in my own thoughts without anyone bothering me. No bossy moms, or screaming children, just me in the empty isles.

I continued to hum old 5sos songs, thinking of the days when I first started liking the band back in 2013. I was 15 and was scrounging around tumblr after school one day. I scrolled through my timeline and stopped at at photo someone had reblogged. It was of four boys sitting on a couch. I didn't recognize any of them. The boy with pink hair caught my eye first, because, well, he had pink hair. I scanned the faces of the other three boys. They were all pretty cute. There was one with curly dark blond hair, another with tall blond hair, and finally one with dark hair. I stared at the dark haired one for a moment. I pulled my eyes away and scrolled down a little to read the caption.

'I love 5sos so much <3<3' it read. I proceeded to google "5sos" and found out that it was a band. I opened YouTube and began listening to a song called Try Hard, which I ended up liking. I went through their whole YouTube channel, finally ended on the oldest video of one of the members, who I found out was named Luke, singing with his guitar. After that day I became somewhat unhealthily obsessed. I loved their music, their personalities, and their looks. Especially Calum, who I had fallen for quickly.

Back then almost the only music you could listen to was live performances of songs, and I downloaded an app on my phone that you could listen to YouTube videos without wifi. It probably wasn't very legal, but I didn't care. I remember being the only one in my school who knew who they were. I told my friends about them, showing them pictures and videos, but they didn't like them. But hey, more for me!

I remember when their first album came out, and how excited I was. I listened to it nonstop for at least a week. I loved hearing studio versions of the music I had only heard crappy live cell phone recordings of. I watched them grow up and become more and more popular. Some of my friends, who hadn't liked them before, started becoming fans. That made me upset, which was irrational. I should have been glad! But I couldn't help but feel annoyed, they hadn't liked them when I showed them, but now that they were popular they took an interest. I grew away from that group of friends, making new ones online. Although I never met most of my internet friends, I felt closer to them. They understood me, and we could fangirl over 5sos together.

I remember when I met Cami. She ran a popular tumblr account, which she'd started in 2012. It was one of the first fan accounts and she had even been noticed by 5sos a few times, on both twitter and tumblr. I was nervous to talk to her, seeing how I had only 310 followers to her 14K but when I did, we quickly hit it off. She was friendly, funny, and we had a lot in common. We fangirled together, and talked about 5sos a lot. We quickly became best friends. As we got closer, we started facetiming and texting. We could talk to each other about our real lives-troubles with school, family, and everything else. Cami was different than my old friends, she would never ignore me, or fight with me. I cherished our friendship, since it was a time when I was really unpopular in school. I had only a couple friends, but most of the time I was alone and forgotten. But I never felt too sad, because I knew I could go home and listen to 5sos and talk to my internet friends. That's where I was happiest.

I went to my first 5sos concert in 2015 when they went on their first headlining world tour. There I met up with two of my internet friends, Tara and Mackenzie, and we had the best night. Our seats were pretty far back, but it didn't matter. I felt so close all the same. It was surreal, seeing the people who I only ever seen in pictures on a screen. I found myself always watching Calum as he rocked out on his bass. He was my favorite since I had first discovered the band. Mackenzie was a Luke girl, and Tara loved Mashton. I remember roaming around the venue with them before and after the show, hoping to run across the band, but unfortunately we never did find them.

5sos also introduced me to other bands. Bands that I hadn't heard of before. They weren't ones that were often played on the radio, but I liked them way better. I began to listen to All Time Low, Panic! At the Disco, and My Chemical Romance. You could say I went through a little bit of a punk phase, I wore band shirts, black skinny jeans, and flannels, but that what I felt like myself in. Sure, people saw me as the loner band girl, but that's how I was happy.

5sos continued to release more music. Their second album was a lot more mature and I loved it. Most of my old friends who had claimed to love the band, didn't like them anymore. The third album came out when I was a senior. It was my favorite album of them all.

As the band went on, girlfriends came and went. Some ended up being rumors, or quick flings and hookups, but others lasted longer. I was fine with all their relationships, although I did wish I was in those girls' places. I shipped Ashton and his long time girlfriend, Emma, who he met in 2016. Luke had a couple of girlfriends who I liked, but none of them lasted. Michael was often rumored to be with different celebrities and models, but only a few turned out to be true. There was only one relationship that rubbed me the wrong way. Calum and Amy met in late 2015. There were pictures circling of them kissing, and in that moment, I knew I didn't like her. She was a model first off, with a huge butt and boobs. She had long blonde hair and brown eyes. She plastered her face in makeup and wore excessively tight clothing. She was nothing like Calum. I didn't know what he saw in her. She wasn't into music, she was clingy, needy, and used him for fame. Every time he brought her to award shows, she tried to upstage him on the red carpet. But he still loved her. You could see it in the way he looked at her, but she never reciprocated that look.

Cami thought I was crazy for disliking her, "You're just jealous because she stole your man" She had said.

"No I'm not!! She's just using him!" I protested, to no avail.

They ended up getting married the summer after I graduated high school, after only a year and a half of dating. I remember the picture she posted on Instagram. She posed in a mirror selfie, wearing a short, white, bedazzled dress (a sorry excuse for a wedding gown), with Calum draped over her, kissing her neck. I practically gagged. She had a smirk that looked like she was laughing at all of us, that she had won the prize. Not long after, they announced that Amy was pregnant. But I wasn't in the fandom when their child was actually born.

5sos released 8 albums in their career. I saw them in concert two more times. But as I got busy with college, I grew out of the band. The last album of theirs that I bought was their 5th. I still spoke to Cami, but less often, as I didn't use my fan account anymore. She liked them for longer than I did. I didn't hear much else about the band until they announced that they weren't going to release anymore music.

I was in my dorm room on my laptop, when I should have been doing homework. It was all over the media and I clicked on an article out of curiosity. They wrote about how they loved their time in the band, but now they wanted to settle down. Calum was already married with a child, Ashton was married, Luke was engaged, and Michael had a girlfriend.

That was the last I heard of them until this year. It still boggled me how this had worked out. This wasn't quite how I dreamed about meeting them, but I wasn't complaining.

"Um excuse me miss?" A woman's voice broke through the deep haze of my thoughts. I turned around, surprised to see a customer.

"Yes?"

"Could you show me where I can find the Webkinz?" She asked.

"Yeah, just this way." I lead her to the right isle, Don't Stop still playing in the back of my head.

-

Hey guys, sorry for the lack of updates. I was really busy for a few weeks, and then I had writers block.

Sorry that this isn't the most exciting chapter, it's just some needed background.

:)