temptation «:|:» the weeknd

forty-one

forty-one

A month had passed since the release party and Valerie and Abel had practically gone at it almost every day. Each time they had sex, it was better than the first time. But that was only because Valerie and he had found growth through each other. The lies. The fighting. The bullshit. They were done with it, so as one could imagine, everything was better than the first time.

Abel began to learn many things he had never known about her. Little things like how she prefers to take her selfies from her left side because she swears her right side is not symmetrical enough, and how she loves to shop at places like H&M, Zara and Topshop due to their quality making an astounding difference to boutiques like Forever 21 and Charlotte Russe. He couldn't help but also realize just how delicate she was. Valerie was virtually breakable and it angered him that he had never really paid it any mind. When she needed him the most, he had taken it upon himself to suggest them being apart for some time. And no matter what the future held for the two of them, he could never forgive himself for making that decision.

Valerie walked into the kitchen and smiled once she saw him sitting at the table. Abel returned the gesture, grinning at her newfound attendance. Some moments they'd just smile and stare at each other without actually speaking. They hadn't done that in the past before things truly began to blossom between the two of them. In the past, they could barely look at each other without feeling either pain or guilt for their actions and misfortunes. So to witness growth between them made Abel happy, to say the least.

"What's wrong, Abel?" She frowned, taking the stool next to him to join him at the island. Valerie folded her hands underneath her chin and waited for him to come up with an explanation. The girl knew him like no other. There was no sense in lying to her.

"I've just been thinking a lot, you know? About the last time my mother and I spoke to each other."

Valerie sucked in the air that he failed to notice was lost. "Yeah. I remember that. You seemed kinda distant when that happened."

"I'm sorry if I'm shutting you out. It's just... I don't–" Abel tried to recollect his thoughts before replying. "I told her about Empress. I told her about her potentially being my sister and she just... she knew the whole time. Ever since I was five years old. But she never sat down and told me any of that. And I was so mad that I called her out of her name, and now I... now I regret it. I just want to apologize and talk to her about it, but I don't know how. Sometimes it's like I can't control my anger... You know how I get."

"Babe, it's human nature to get mad. Can anyone really blame you?"

"I don't know, Valerie. I'm just trynna avoid hurting people's feelings. I vowed to quit doing that shit."

Valerie hopped off of her stool and stood directly in front of him, causing him to smile at the duck face she was making only to get him to smile. "I'm an ugly duckling."

"No, I think you're a very nice looking duckling. But what's not nice is you interrupting me when I'm in need of some serious conversation."

"Abel, you're overthinking it too much. You don't have to work up an explanation for feeling like you've been lied to. She's your mother, remember that. Now, on the other hand... If it were me, you'd need a whole lot more than some apologizing."

He laughed, pressing his lips onto hers after saying, "I'd apologize with this dick."

.:|:.

Abel pulled up to his mother's house about forty-five minutes after his talk with Valerie. The advice that she had given him was just what he needed to hear. What was funny was the fact that he wouldn't have ever thought of asking Valerie for advice before things began to patch up between them. Once again, their relationship was there proving its growth and he was glad of that.

He closed his eyes and mentally prayed before knocking on his mother's front door. If he was going to change, he had to include forgiving his mother too. Too bad it can't just be Lamar.

A minute later, Abel's mother opened the door and damn near jumped when she found out who was on the other side. "Sweetheart, I prayed that you'd stop by." She stepped aside to allow him to enter before approaching the start of their conversation. "So, what brings you by, hun?"

"Ma, I wanted to come by and apologize. For everything, actually. For calling you out of your name. For being immature. For running away from our situation. For neglecting you for the past two years. You never deserved that. Regardless of the amount of time you spent with me, or the bad memories you weren't around to change. I know you kept the truth from me to protect me. I already had enough reasons to hate my father. I appreciate your determination to look out for me. I love you, ma. I'm so so sorry for making things worse.

"I've been thinkin' a lot lately about you these past few months. And I know I don't necessarily show it, but I do love you, ma. I really do. And I didn't realize that for a long, long time... but I'm glad I do now. All of those drugs I was taking, they've been gone for almost eight months now. I only drink socially now. And I can't even look at another girl the same way that I look at Valerie. I don't know what has come over me, but I'm not afraid of it anymore.

"I'm not ashamed of being in love, you feel me? I'm not afraid of settling down with just one girl. I don't regret apologizing and meaning it when I ask the people that I shut out to be a part of my life again. I used to blame everyone else but myself for being who I was. Doing the things that I did. But now, all I want to do is ask for forgiveness.

"And now, all I want to do is start fresh. I'm ready to join you... and grandma. I want to get to know The Lord. Because... for such a long time, I was down bad. And now that I feel great about my changed habits, I want to attend church so I can have something to look forward to. I want to go to the promised land someday. I want to attend church this Sunday and I especially want to bring Valerie."

Abel's mother smiled at him, shocked, with dozens of tears cascading from her eyes. She didn't say a word but brought him into her embrace. And that was all he needed. Comforting arms. The consoling arms of his divine mother.

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