Broken :: R.S.L - au {ON HOLD}

008

"Move over!" I demanded as I tried to push Ross out of my bed, but he wouldn't budge.

"No," he replied, taking more space than what was intended.

"I'm tired."

"There's a floor."

"Ya know, you can be a real douche sometimes," I scoffed, walking into the other room.

Right now, I'm very unsure of what Ross and I are. Like, one minute, he will be all cuddled up to me and the next he will be to himself. He confuses me in so many different ways that I can't understand.

••

I was sitting at the counter, finishing some extra homework that needed to be finished before the holiday break. I heard footsteps, but shrugged them off since I wasn't the only one home.

"I'm sorry," I heard Ross say. I turned around and looked at him with a confused glare. "I'm sorry for what's been going on lately."

I knew what he was talking about, and I won't bring it up. Ross and I were very secretive, due to all that's gotten out about him.

"It's okay," I sighed. "I just hope that you're not going to get into any more trouble." I usually don't confess things like this, but I figured it was relevant in this situation.

"Me, too, to be honest," Ross said. "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course," I nodded.

"I have to leave in a couple of days." And those words hurt me more than anything.

"What?!" I squeaked.

"I have to leave and go to Orlando, it isn't a choice that I can choose against."

"Wait, are you going to be back?"

"I honestly don't know." He shook his head.

I felt torn. I felt broken. What if he never comes back? I need him here with me. He has helped me through so much these past few weeks, and I need him to help me.

I felt the tear roll down my face, which surprised me since I hadn't noticed I was crying. "I don't want you to go," I whispered.

"Hey, don't cry. Not for me." I felt his warm hand smudge against my cheek as he wiped away the tears. It made me feel so secure and safe.

"Why not, Ross?" I weeped. "Why shouldn't I? You just came in my life and now you're leaving."

"I'm not worth crying over." He smiled. His smile was so cheerful and honest, but it hurt. It burned something up inside of me, something I couldn't figure out.

The way his smile would bring out the best side of me was weird, but this smile only brought out fury. He honestly doesn't think anyone cares about him, but I do, and I just figured it out. I want him, and I want him to want me.

I looked down at my socks, taking in the details of them. I didn't know which fabric they were made of - cotton or wool - but they were pink. They were pink and yellow, and they had stars on them.

Ross cupped my cheeks and pulled me away from my intense staring. "Look, I'm not worth crying over. I never have and never will be. I don't understand why you would be upset about my leaving, everyone else seems to be happy when I'm inexistent in their lives."

"You see, Ross, that's what's wrong. You think nobody cares, but I do. I don't want you to leave out of my life when you just got in it. I love waking up beside you and knowing that you're going to be home when I get back. Four months ago, I would be telling you different, but this isn't four months ago. It's today. And today, I love you." I couldn't manage or comprehend what was coming out of my mouth, but when the words finally come out, I couldn't hide the blush on my cheeks.

But it wasn't like i was lying, because I was telling the legitimate truth. I did love Ross, I've loved him for weeks.

"You love me?" Ross whispered and I nodded. "Please don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying," I cried. "Ross, I love you like nobody else. You mean so much to me, and I don't want to lose you."

"You don't have to, because even if I'm not by your side, I will always be in your heart; because you'll always be in mine."

***

awe, qt's ☺️😻.

i want a relationship like this, i seriously do 😩😩.

and i want apologize for not updating, but wattpad kinda crashed on me and i couldn't download it again for about two weeks. but i'm back, and i'm good to go 😜

vote/comment ❤️