Broken :: R.S.L - au {ON HOLD}

013

REPOSTING THIS BC I FORGOT TO POST CHAPTER 12!

•

The next morning was barely rememberable, and trying to figure out just what was going on was beyond me. Starr still hadn't woken up, which upset me more and more each time I thought about it.

As I strolled down the long corridors, tracing my fingers along the embroidered walls, I noticed a women in her middle-twenties. The woman had dark brown hair and a baby attached to her hip. I walked toward her, and I could hear her sobs as I got closer.

"Ma'am," I spoke up. The woman turned toward me and wiped her eyes quickly. "Are you okay?" I asked her, and she nodded gently before shaking her head. "What's wrong?"

"My husband," she smiled softly, I'm assuming from the memories of him, "he was diagnosed with stage two brain cancer about seven months ago. He was a fighter, and he fought as much as he could, he blessed me with two, healthy babies. Well, last night he fell in our living room and began to have a seizure . . ." The woman didn't finish what she was saying before she started bawling her eyes out. I felt for the lady that I didn't even know.

After she had explained everything, I began to think about how much worse I could have it.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, ma'am. I know it's hard. I will never understand how much pain it is to lose the love of your life, but it feels like I have lost mine. My girlfriend has been in the hospital for the past couple of weeks, and she hasn't woken up." I felt myself tense up, and tears began to form in my eyes. The woman put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed it softly.

I walked back to Starr's room, thinking about that woman and that little girl. There was something about them that I couldn't allow myself to forget them.

As I was sitting in the same chair, slumped over into a hunch, and writing in my journal, the doctor walked in. I saw a few stray tears in her eyes, and that worried me a bit.

"Y-yes?" I stuttered, taking in the atmosphere around us.

"Oh nothing," she smiled. "I just come to make sure everything was fine."

* *

It had dawned on me that I hadn't been to school in a while, but I really didn't care, to be honest. Everyone has been noticing a change in me, and I've noticed it, too, but I think it's better this way.

I walked down the all to familiar corridor, the same stench of sterilization and sadness creeping its way into my nostrils. As soon as I stepped outside, I pulled out a pack of Marlboro Cigarettes. I hadn't smoked in a few months and I have been saving this pack for this type of situation.

I was stressed out to the max as I took a long drag of the familiar taste. The smoke burned my lungs, but the pain took my body away into another place.

I wanted to cry; I wanted to bury myself into a pit of darkness and never return. I wanted to do so many things, but escaping was my number one thing. The world is a crazy place, full of crazy people that disappear without knowing. I was one of those crazy people, but in my own crazy world.

I thought about Starr, and how I wanted to spend eternity with her. I took in another drag as the world around me spun around in a circle. I thought about myself, not about Starr. Maybe that's what I needed to do, though: think about how Starr felt and maybe, just maybe, she would wake up.