Broken :: R.S.L - au {ON HOLD}

009

Over the past couple of weeks, I have kind of put Ross' leaving off. I didn't want to think about him leaving, and he delayed the actual date to a later day. Today was the day he left, and honestly, it's harder for me than you'd think.

I'm going to miss him, I really am. He had brought so much joy to me these past couple of months, that now his presence will be missed.

I watched him as he zipped his last suitcase and started out of the house. I felt like crying, because the lump in my throat caused my head to hurt and it made me feel dizzy. Without hesitation, he turned around and just . . . Stared.

His stare was absent. It was like there was no particular thing he was staring at, but his eyes seemed to pierce through my soul and seep through my veins. He started to scare me a bit as he inched closer to me, and I couldn't seem to find a place to run away to.

"What are you doing?" I, almost inaudible, asked.

He didn't answer me, though. He just kept moving forward, but this time it was a bit faster. His pace had quickened as I ran out into the yard before he could touch me.

"Please come here," Ross begged, and I obeyed. I only walked in a slow speed toward him and he grasped me in his arms, engulfing me in his manly scent. "I'm gonna miss you like crazy," he confessed.

This shocked me. He was going to miss me?

I backed up a bit and stared up to him. "You're going to miss me?" I asked, and he nodded.

"I am. I don't want to go; not by myself. It's crazy out there when you're all alone. I've never really had anyone there for me, and you're here now and I don't want to lose what we have."

What we have . . . What do we have exactly? Do we have a friendship? Is it a relationship? What is it?

"Then don't go," I suggested.

"Starr, you don't understand-"

"No, don't go. Stay here, with me. I can protect you." I heard a small chuckle escape him and I gave him a confused look.

"That's kind of the man's job, actually. Not vise versa."

"Well you know what, Ross? I'm sorry, okay? I don't want you to go. I love you; I'm in love with you, actually. I can't hide my feelings for you anymore. It hurts me physically and emotionally, knowing that you'll be leaving and I may never see you again. I want you to stay here and protect me from everyone. I want you to be with me and help me through my psychotic rampages that you find hilarious. Mostly, I want you!" My rant continued until I felt him press his lips onto mine.

"Starr, I have felt the same way since I moved here and since I met you. It sucks, because I have been with so many different girls and they've all been horrible to you. I want to thank you, because if you hadn't stopped me and told me that, I'd be halfway to the airport right now and I would probably never get to tell you that - I love you, too."

His words, they stopped something. They stopped my heart from beating for exactly 0.5 seconds. But within that short time, I had never felt so much toward someone until now.

***

short chapters sucks :')