Just your Wingman

Realizations

Tess and Matt let go. "We should get going..." Matt said. He averted his eyes. Something seemed to click in his mind.

"Uh..yeah" Tess said awkwardly. Matt and I took our separate ways from Tess. We both had to get to class quick.

"We're gonna be late!" I yelled. Matt nodded but something seemed to be on his mind. Something was up, and I had to know what it was.

"So...Tess looked cute in her new bow didn't she?" I said testing something out. Matt tripped a little on his own feet.

"Huh? What?! I..I didn't notice any new bow! Why would I notice anything? Its not like I notice everything she does!" He said flustered. His face seemed a little red.

I smirked, "So...you've finally accepted the feeling." I knew he liked her, he just didn't know it yet. He was always like that. It took him five years to realize that he liked her, "Your dense you know that? Haven't you ever wonder why your always curious of what she's doing all the time?"

His face got even redder, "I don't know what your talking about!!" He ran faster so we wouldn't have to talk about the subject anymore. I snickered at him.

~~~~~~~~~

I laid at home, textbook in lap, pencil in hand....nothing in head. "Ughhhh, I'm going to die like this!!" I groaned. "Why is homework so hard!?"

My phone buzzed. I jumped up to get it. I was waiting for a text from Charlotte. She's been so busy with basketball practices and volleyball practices that I barely see her anymore. She's been excused from classes and missing lunch all the time. It seemed as if she was always in a cycle of work and nothing else. Like, she was avoiding me.

It wasn't her. It was Erick. I groaned and arched my eyebrows, "Stupid Erick." The text message read, "Yo."

"What do you want?! Can't you see I'm waiting for a text?"

"Uh no? I can't see you, this is a phone."

"I hate your sarcastic mouth."

"Yeah okay whatever. We gonna work on another ambush right?"

Ambush. The word worked inside my head. The word that meant trying to get Erick and Charlotte together. The word with mixed feeling. Feelings that I didn't understand. A feeling that made my heart drop and my palms sweaty. I didn't know what they were so I pushed them aside.

"So you're finally starting to get aggressive on this game now aye Erick?"

"Shut it."

"Feisty. Well I can't help you right now. I'm doing homework."

"Okay, I'll ask Mayla I guess."

"What?!" I yelled aloud. "Mayla? What?!" I didn't know why but my palms started getting sweaty.

"Whoa, when did you and Mayla start doing plans?"

"Oh we've been doing it for weeks now. It not very successful, but it gets me places."

"Okay, Lol." I put the 'Lol' in there to hide my unsteadiness.

"I always ask her things before I ask you. She's like Charlotte's basketball buddy so I guess they hang around each other more than you do."

"Yeah okay. Okay bye, doing homework."

I turned off my phone and laid in bed for one minute. My mind had nothing in it. Empty.

Rage. I threw a pillow at the wall. I growled at nothing. I squeezed my eyes shut and messed up my hair. I scratched at my arms. "AAAGHH!!"

Then I suddenly stopped. I laid in my bed, spread out. "Why am I mad?" I asked myself. My heart beat was fast, yet I breathed fine. What's this feeling? As if I was being pulled down by something. Like, knowing a person that helped Erick too, made me want to tear everything to shreds.

[I'm drowning.]

"No..." I said to myself softly. I know this feeling. It was described to me before. That time when Matt spent all that time with Charlotte and Tess ranted to me about it. Jealousy. I shook my head, "I'm not jealous!! Why would I be jealous?! I have no reason to be-"

[I swam up from the water.]

"Unless I..." My voice trailed off.

[I gasped in air.]

"I like Erick..." I said aloud to myself. "I like Erick. I like Erick. I...like....Erick..." Those words trailed in my head. My mind couldn't function the word 'like'. As if it didn't accept it.

I jumped to my feet, "No I don't!" I arched my eyebrows, "I hate Erick. I hate Erick. I hate Erick!!" My brain couldn't function 'like' but it could function 'hate'. Hate was a common word for me.

[Something grabbed me back into the water.]

"I hate his stupid sarcasm! I hate his stupid face! I hate his stupid unemotional attitude! I hate Erick!" I yelled in rage. Now I realized how horrible Erick was. How mean he was to me. How rude he is. How much I hate him.

I smiled in victory of my own mind. "How could I ever think I liked that idiot?" I went on happily doing my homework.

~~~~~~~~~~

I woke to a person tapping on my shoulder. "Darling, get up now." My grandma said. She sat on my bed, greeting me with a smile. "Morning Gram." I smiled back.

I got up in a happy mood. I don't know why but I felt free that day. Everything seemed open and clear.

~~~~~~~~~

I took notes in science class. I wrote down all the words the teacher taught. Charlotte sat next to me confused of my happy mood. "Uh, hey Wen...did something happen yesterday? You seem....peppy."

"I don't know...If feels as if...I could finally breath!" I exclaimed. The teacher tapped on his desk impatiently, "Ms.Castro, would you like to teach the class?"

"Oh no Mr.Calico! I think you're a way better teacher than me, I mean your degrees show many respects and intelligence of you." I said with a warm smile.

Mr.Calico was flabbergasted. He had no words. My politeness was so uncommon it made the teacher speechless. All the students looked at me in awe. "Uh...let's just keep moving on!" Mr.Calico said trying to get away from the awkwardness.

I smiled happily doing my notes, while Mr.Calico got a call. He seemed very grim as he heard what was said from the other side. "That's terrible...I'm so sorry..." Mr.Calico said sadly.

Mr.Calico said in a low tone, "Wendy, may you please come over here...your...mother needs to speak with you." I walked over to the phone.

"Hello, mom. I thought you were at work. What brings you on the phone?" I said in a joyful voice. My mother's voice was not in joy or happy at all. It was grim and scratchy.

"Wendy sweetie, please don't be alarmed by this news..." My mother said. She sniffed a little, telling me that she was crying a little.

"What's wrong mom? You seem down. Need me to cheer you up?" I said with a smile.

She sniffed, "Wendy....Gram isn't with us anymore...she's gone." My smile went slack. My muscles tensed. My grip on the phone tightened.

That's when I realized.... Life isn't a fairy tale...it's full of very harsh things, happy moments are only a small portion of life....and that life is about suffering not happiness.