Just your Wingman

Time of Thanks

It was Wednesday. Three days until the dance.

"Hamster!" Ryan yelled for me to stop. But I didn't want to. I kept walking forward in the empty hallway. I was afraid if I looked back at him tears would run down.

"Don't talk to me." I said with a strained voice. I gripped my fist. My heart wanted to jump out of my chest and break my rib cage. It was hard to breath.

"We have to talk about this!" He yelled. He grabbed my hand forcing me to stop. I tried to pull away but his grip was hard. His nails started to sink into my skin.

"Ow stop! It hurts! Agh! Too tight!" I said wincing. He softened a little.

"I'm sorry! I didn't meant to!" He said. I tried to force myself away from him but he wouldn't let go.

"Can you let me go! We have nothing to talk about! You're so annoying!" I yelled in anger. I didn't even know what I was angry about. Was I angry about myself? Was I angry to him? Why would I be angry at him? My feelings were to jumbled up. I needed someone to blame my anger on. But who and why?

"You know we do!" He yelled back just as angry. His angry voice seared into my memory. He was usually always playfully angry at me. Why was this time real? What did I do? My heart seemed to sink.

"Why can't you leave me alone! I don't want you near me!" I screamed. I could scream all I want. School was over an hour ago. I didn't even know why I stayed. Something told me to stay and wait for the boy's basketball to finish but I didn't know what. I just needed to stay. Why does my heart always do this to me? It always tells me what to do against my will.

"You make me so angry! Just listen to me you brat!" He yelled. My heart dropped. The way he said brat hurt real bad. How could he say that? I know we call each other names a lot but this was real. It wasn't a joke. "Ugh!" I could tell he was hurting as well.

I arched my eyebrows in anger. "Why?! Why are you so mad! I did nothing wrong!" I protested. I punched him in the chest but I knew I was too weak. He didn't even flinch. I kept punching and punching. "Let go of me!"

"I won't let go because I care about you!" He yelled. His grip tightened and his face turned red. I didn't know if it was because of anger or of that he admitted he cared for me. How he said it was in anger but the content seemed warm. Why was his voice and words messing with my mind?

"What?" I gave up on trying to get out of his grip. It was no use. He was just stronger than me. I was too weak. I was always too weak. I could never hold myself up. I tried to hold back tears from that depressing thought.

"Listen." He said angrily. He held me close so we were eye to eye. "I care about you and you can't do anything about it. So you shouldn't hold back your feelings or else I'll shake them out for you." He was so close to me I felt his breath on my face.

"I....You don't...know...no I.." I stammered. I couldn't comprehend what to say. What he said was too sudden. "You can't prove I'm holding back anything!" I fired back getting back my momentum.

He looked me dead in the eye. We were so close that our noses were only inches away. "If you're not holding any feelings back tell me straight in the eyes that you don't feel anything towards Erick anymore."

My hand gripped onto his in shock. My breathes became unsteady. How was I suppose to act now? "I...d-don't...I don't.... Ugh!" I yelled. My face turned red. "I don't have to prove anything to you!" I was mad. I was angry that he was right. I was angry that he knew how I felt. I was also glad that he did though as well. Having someone who truly knew how I felt gave me hope. I just didn't know if the the hope was true or false.

His eyes saddened. I could tell I hurt him. My heart started to drop in guilt. He put his hand to my face. It was cold and big. It cupped on my face which sent me chills. "Don't.... Don't do this...."

I rested my forehead onto his. Tears streamed down my face. "Don't....don't look." I couldn't wipe them away since both my hands held his hand. I sniffed trying to regain my dignity but they kept coming down.

"Wendy." He looked at me in concern. I saw that he felt my sadness. He wiped my tears with his thumb.

I pushed him away. "Stop...." I let go of his hand to wipe my tears. "Nothing's going to come out of me crying. This is wrong. I can't. We can't."

"You have to let it out Wendy!" He said. His eyebrows arched. I saw he was getting angrier at me.

"Just give me time!" I said. Tears still streamed out of my eyes.

"Well hurry up then!" His eyes widened showing his real concern. Tears seemed to form near his eyes. "I....I need you to be okay! So I can be okay!" My eyes widened. He was on the verge of tears. And it was my fault.

"I don't know okay! This feelings." He grabbed at his shirt near his heart. "I hate watching you suffer. What is it?! Every time I see you down, it just irritates me!"

I softly put my hand on his cheek. He looked at me in shock. I couldn't meet his eyes. "I need time. Please." I whispered.

I turned to leave. I walked a few steps away. Then he embraced me from behind. I stumbled forward in shock. He held on tight. He sniffed, showing he was crying.

"Time..." I whispered. I patted his arm in sincerity. I hated seeing him hurt. Someone as tall and strong as him being sad made me concerned. I thought of him as a role model. Watching him break broke my heart.

"I'm here....I'm right here." After he let go I looked behind me to see if he was still there. He was already walking the other way though. He didn't want me to see him in tears.

"Bye...." I said in my mind. Then I walked home.

~~~~~~

I yawned as I sprawled myself onto my bed. I groaned as I stretched. I finally finished homework and I've had it.

Suddenly my phone buzzed. I groaned in irritation. Who could possibly be annoying me now? I looked at my phone. Of course it was Erick.

"Hai." He texted.

"Go away I told you to delete this number" I texted back.

"Thank you. For everything."

I sat up confused. What was everything? All I've done was hurt him. I felt guilt. How could I ever deserve his gratitude after I've yelled at him for so long. "For what?"

"You know the ambushes. They worked. It kinda hurts that u don't like me tho. Knowing u liked me made me kinda happy. That's just selfish thinking tho. Getting to the point I just want to say thanks for helping me with Charlotte. I know u love her a lot. I'll take great care of her."

I was touched. He was acknowledging my hard work for getting them together. I felt warm inside. It wasn't the same warm I felt from him though. This one wasn't that I wanted to be with him. It was more of a friendly one. I whispered to myself, "So it is over....I am over him...."

[You have dried. You start to climb a mountain.]

"You're welcome then."

"Yup. K bye" he texted.

I closed my phone. "What a day...." I took in deep breathes. I tried to collect my thoughts on the day. "I'm hungry."