Just your Wingman

Never Again

I sat in Charlotte's room yawning. Her bean bag chair was soft. It almost wanted me to sleep.

Charlotte came out of her closet. She wore a pouf dress that was a little above the knee. The top was a pastel floral pink while the top was white. Her hair was tied up and a grin ad wide as the horizon laid atop of her face. "Is it good?"

I chuckled at her excitement. "It's the best one yet I think. You've worn four dresses, I think this one will do." I rolled my eyes and looked down on my lap to my homework. Her trusting me with telling her what to wear for the dance made me feel giddy. It made me feel wanted.

She picked up her homework from her desk. "Okay, okay. I just need to make sure. I'm worried." She scanned her homework trying to look busy.

I signed dramatically. "Come on. Who cares what Erick will think of you? He likes you in whatever you wear." I put on a French accent. "A man in love will love anything his lover loves."

Charlotte chuckled and threw a pillow at me. "Shut up!" I dodged it and threw it back. As she caught it she sighed, "I'm doing this for me! I like looking pretty myself."

I smiled at her. "That's my girl, who needs approval! You only need it from yourself!" I pumped my fist in the air. She looked at me as if u was crazy.

She looked over to her homework again. Her wide grin and chuckles seemed to cease. A concerned saddened look went across her face. She took a deep breathe. "I'm a bad friend aren't I?"

I looked at her in confusion. I went to sit next to her. "Charlotte how could you ev-"

She cut me off. "Because I let you suffer on your own!" She blurted out. Her grip on her pen became harder. She seemed tense and her eyebrows seemed to knit together.

"What?" I asked in a hollow tone.

"I know you've suffering. I was just.... So...so..." She looked me straight in the face which made me scoot back. Her face looked dead serious which frightened me. "I was selfish and scared." She said it in a confirmed voice.

"What do you mean?" I asked in confusion. My Charlotte was so happy. What happened to her smile? "You're not making any sense."

Charlotte looked to the floor. "I know you've been crying a lot. And I was never there. When Gram died. When I let you walk home. When I pretended not to know you had a crush on Erick. When I didn't tell you Ryan had a crush on you..." Her voice cracked.

My ears were full of cotton. I could barely understand what she meant. She knew I liked Erick?! Me heart beat became fast. It was going to get awkward. And....Ryan had a crush on me....?

"I...." I tried to find the words to console her, but I couldn't. All those things were right. She was never there for me when those things happened. "You're right.... You weren't there for me when those things happened." I said it in a straight tone which seemed to be harsh. I regretted it. I didn't mean to sound like that.

She broke into tears. The pen in her hand cracked and ink flowed onto the table. She let go of pen and wiped her hand on her own carpet floor.

My heart then broke into bits. I made her cry. It was my fault. I didn't mean to. I didn't know what to say. I was speechless.

She covered her face in shame. "I'm the worst." She cried onto her hands.

Then I found the words. As if her breaking down was a trigger a whole lot of words broke out in my mind. I hugged her tight. She then cried on my shoulder in pain. My heart pounded in sadness. I hated seeing her sad. It made me want to punch a wall and kill everyone in sight.
I took a deep breath. "Aren't we both the worse?"
Charlotte said, "What are you saying your ama-"
I cut her off. "I was jealous...." Silent filled the air. "I was jealous of your good grades, your athleticism, and the fact that our friends care about you more."
We parted from our hug. Suddenly I noticed I also had tears in my eyes. She wiped them with her thumb and I wiped hers.
"We are real selfish idiots aren't we?" She chuckled. I nodded and giggled along. "We let our own desires come ahead of us."
"I want to be better than you so I started to resent you." I said softly. "You liked Erick so you let me suffer."
We both took deep breaths. I hugged her back again. I didn't want to let go. "Boys are stupid."

"Very stupid."

"Let's not let them get the best of us."

"I would never let that happen again."