dear hope,
it's suffocating. it really is. it feels like an elephant is sitting on me, crushing me. the problem though, is that there is no elephant, hope. it's just me and the darkness. i kind of wish there was an elephant though. you know how much i love them.
knew. i meant knew. i hate past tense, hope. i really do. it's just stupid. but not as stupid as i am, hope.
it feels like i can't breathe. that is what i mean by that, hope. i can breathe, but the pain likes to steal away my breath. does that make sense, hope? probably not. i never make sense.
i did it again, hope. i am not sorry either. i deserved it. no, i deserve it. that's why i am going to do it yet again.
you would be really disappointed in me, hope. and for that, i am sorry.
love,
heaven rae
