Serenity [h.s]

Drowning in feelings

I'll start changing up things with the chapters; the title of them. Just a heads up x

If I said I loved you what would you say?

It's okay to hurt. It's okay to make mistakes. It's okay to fall in love. It's okay to give everything you have to someone. But it's not okay to let them destroy your soul.

Summer Lowal

My heart raced terribly last night after Harry's confession. I'd be lying if I told you I didn't fall anymore in love with him. I'd lie if I said I didn't want to whisper those three words only for his heart to grasp.

But I stayed quiet and kissed his lips tenderly.

I loved Harry. It was inevitable from the beginning. From the moment he had kissed me it was like something switched inside of me and I couldn't seem to get enough. Everything about him was captivating. Everything was worth admiring and tracing and worth painting. He deserved to be observed just like paintings.

He was a piece of Shakespeare and Picasso together and goddamn was I in love.

I don't know why but I fell for him hardly. He was awkward in the most handsome way. He put his heart on his sleeve and I'd been to blind to see that at first.

He was too kind for me. His soul was too pure for someone like me.

Everything in the end was written in the earths crust, carved for us both before we knew it.

We were on our way back to London, the trip long and full of small naps and cuddled up bodies in small spaces. I'd seen Harry for the first time in a beanie and it made my heart melt tremendously because he looked bloody adorable and all I wanted to do was curl up into him and inhale his musky cologne and thread my fingers in the hairs that would peak out.

I remember how we laid on the floor of the plane, and spread out the blankets and pillows. I thought it was childish of him at first but ended up giggling like a little girl when I saw him all cozy in the blankets.

I laid in front of him, our limbs tangled together, his hands cupping my face every once in a while, tucking strands of my hair behind my ear, kissing my nose softly. I remember him whispering how much he loved me, and needed me in his life. My hands kept grasping onto his tee because my heart wasn't physically okay with what he was saying. He was pleading me in some way and it broke my heart. His eyes were filled with tears that night, the green of his orbs the brightest green from his weeping. His lips were red and his cheeks were stained with tears, and I only whispered, assuring him that'd I never leave.

"I lost my dad, it's a terrible feeling, Summer. And I don't want to have to feel that way again, except with you. I don't know what I'd do if I lost you,"

And he kissed my lips with tears falling into them. My chest physically ached and I swore my body was trembling. What I thought a night of soft snores and inside jokes, turned out to be filled with tears and secrets.

"You're everything I've been missing, darling, don't leave me," 

I gripped his neck as my lips pushed harder against his, my tears mixing with his and our lips moving in the roughest yet the most heart wrenching way, hands pulling me close to his chest further, my soft sobs leaving my lips as we pulled away.

Harry had craddled me, my face in the crook of his neck as I felt his own tears on my shoulder.

I knew I'd never leave him.

We'd finally arrived back into London, and the ride to Harry's mom's house was quiet only because my mind was being critical as for my self conscious. All I could think about was if they'd except me for who I am just like Harry. In some what way, this bastard excepted me, for me.

And I'd finally excepted him for him. He was gentle and soft, he was caring and made sure you were okay or satisfied in anyway. I don't know how I lucky I got when he showed up at my showing.

He was heroine in skin and bones with a beating heart.

"Summer, baby we're here," I inhaled sharply and looked over to Harry with a concentrated look on his face, his eyes tired and red from being awake most of the time on the plane ride. I nodded and smiled softly, getting out behind him. The fresh cold air nipped at my skin and I immediately wrapped my arms around Harry's torso, his hands rubbing up and down my arms.

I looked around at the huge house, it's sighting very calming and beautiful. I ignored the nervous flutters and looked up at Harry. He was a ready looking down at me with a soft smile.

"Let's go, baby girl. Don't be nervous they'll love you," I only nodded and we both walked up the long pathway, finally arriving to the door, Harry's fist knocking several times. I inhaled deeply, exhaling as a brunette opened the door, her soft green eyes and assuring smile beamed at us.

She looked over at me and suddenly I was wrapped in her arms, getting the damn life squeezed out of me. I only let out breathless laughs and hugged her back. I was assuming she was his sister Gemma.

"Oh my gosh, you must be Summer, Harold always talks about you," I blush, smiling as I pull away, her grin overtaking. Harry grumbles next to me and I only shake my head.

"Gem, enough," she rolls her eyes and raises on her tip toes, wrapping her arms around his tall frame.

"You've gotten tall," she comments while pulling away. I see Harry smirk.

"I missed you too, Sis," I giggle quietly and she turns to me with a sarcastic grin, taking my hand and pulling me inside the incredibly large house.

"Yes, Harold, I've missed you, but you know I'm busy with a kid and husband and work," my eyes widen and I look back at Harry as he follows behind us.

I turn to her as she leads us somewhere in the house. "You have a child?" I ask politely, she briefly looks at me and smiles warmly.

"Yeah, she's five years old, her name is Sienna," I give her a soft smile.

"Beautiful name," I whisper, and she thanks me, walking into a living room with decor of the finest. I wasn't surprised only because my parents live in such luxury.

It never was my type of thing to be completely honest.

A man, maybe around his early 30's sat with a little blonde girl, her hair wavy, a smile so wide with dimples indented and gray eyes. I smiled as I got the small glimpse of her, turning to Gemma.

"This is Mike, and our daughter Sienna," I smiled, soon turning to the girl and her father. Sienna jumps off her father's lap and runs into Harry's arms.

"Uncle, Hazza," she cheerfully says, Harry picking her up, and lifting her into the air and smothering her with sloppy kisses.

"I've missed you, Sisi, how are you love?" He asks her as he holds her firmly onto his hip. She plays with the ends of his hair, smiling at the green eyed man.

"M'missed you, Uncle Hazza, mommy never lets us visit as much anymore," he frowns slightly and so do I, feeling sadness for the small child. I know how she feels and it's a terrible feeling.

"No, no Sisi, I'm just a bit busy from work, but I'll visit you as much as I can, yeah? I'll bring my pretty girl with me too," Harry turns to me and winks, a smirk playing on his lips, and I blush as I smile, dismissing his childish move, smiling gently at the little girl staring at me with a grin on her face.

"Uncle Hazza, she's very pretty," she whispers to him quietly, supposedly not for me to hear. I pretend I don't even though I did, blushing once again and looking directly at Harry who stares at me.

"She is indeed pretty, Sisi."

-
If you hate school raise your hand

*raises my leg as well* fuck I can't update as often anymore and I feel awful I hope this was ok x

I love you all and all the love as always x

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