[VIXX NEO] My Journey To Happiness

Chapter Four

I dialed a number and almost forgot to whom I'd called. I heard a manly voice answering the phone, "Hello." I didn't know what to say. "Hello," I plainly quoted him. "Yes sir, how can I help you?" He asked.

"Help?" I muttered under my breath, stupidly.

Ken squealed "Pizza, pizza." I was relieved and wanted to thank Ken for reminding me.

"Oh," I exclaimed. "Pizza, nuggets, colas and water."

"Okay sir, your address?" he asked. I told the address and hung up. "Water too?" N laughed at me and shook his head in disapproval. I licked my lip without a reply. I didn't know why I went so blank.

"Picnic? How about a picnic after the press meet?" Hongbin asked. "Wow" N replied as usual. Excited.

Ravi said, "I will choose the place." He said, eyes pleading towards N. He smiled at Ravi. "Since, Hyuk is the youngest, he'll choose." I said without giving thoughts to my words.

Hyuk clapped his hands, "Yay!" He moved his hands in the air. "Alright, alright" N agreed to me and gave the chance to Hyuk.

I was finding it hard to keep my mind stuck to reality. Everyone started to reveal their ideas. Too loud. My problem with loud noise, was an everyday fight.

Ken touched my shoulder, "What you'll wear? I'm going to wear shorts, with a plain tee. Tank top looks great on you... " after that I couldn't hear. My inner voice took over Ken's voice and after a minute I got irritated.

"Stop pestering me, Ken!" I almost yelled. And, before I control, a frown spread over my forehead. I didn't want to sound rude.

Everyone looked at me in disbelief and I felt embarrassed. My cheeks burned, turning pink.

Hongbin frowned, "I can't see a point to be mad at Ken, he was just... " Ken held his hand tightly and shook his head. Then,he smiled at me, "No problem, I was too loud." He said. He looked defeated. "Why Ken has to be the one to adjust always?" Hongbin asked, despite of Ken's efforts.

I looked away, because Hongbin was right but I never exactly know how to apologize for simple mistakes, especially between those who are closer to my heart.

"Dinner," N changed the topic and dragged me to the dining hall.

_________

I was never been good with words. I didn't want Ken feel bad. I always mess up things with him. Hongbin was right, he becomes an easy victim for my anger.

N entered my room, casually and sat beside me. He took my hand and started comparing our fingers size. I was watching him, silently.

He squeezed my palm gently and met my eyes, "So, what are you doing?" He asked. Well, that should be my question. I thought.

I shook my head, "Nothing much." I replied, looking away. "Is that something you don't like?" He asked with a sharp voice.

I said nothing. His eyes were on me, still. He rubbed the back of my palm, with his thumb.

I took a long breath. "You can tell me and I won't talk about it, in any tv show. I promise." He tried to touch his chest, as a promise. But, instead of his hand, the back of my palm touched his chest over the thick shirt.

I stared at my hand. "Concentrate on me," He ordered. I forced myself to look at him.

"I am listening," I assured him. He took my hand away from his chest but he was still holding it.

I asked myself, am I really been frustrated with something?

"Ah," I said as I recollected my worries. He left my hand free and smiled. I wiped my palm, to get rid of the sweat.

"That interview----", I paused. He spoke before I could say another word. "Yeah, it was stupid. We were doing a charity event but in the studio interview they were asking about our breakup stories." N made a face.

"Exactly," I felt like my inner self woke up from deep slumber. N kept his hand on my thigh casually and said, "Forget about them. Well, Leo you can tell me about it. I have never asked." He wanted to know about my past love life.

Surprisingly my mind felt energetic to answer anything and I replied that I'd faced breakup in my past. "What happened?" he asked.

"She had so many complaints about my silence."

"Oh"

He didn't made a funny comment on it, so I continued.

"Hmmm"

"How you've fallen for her?"

"Huh?"

"Why you liked her?"

"Nothing special. She's always cheerful and positive."

"That's it?"

"Yes, but then she started complaining about my reservedness. She thought I've lost interest in her and walked out."

"I understand. But, still that doesn't made sense, love at first sight? Infatuation. Maybe."

"Maybe"

"Well, you should've told her, how much you like her. You can be little open when it comes to expressing affection towards the people you love and care about."

"How?"

"Umm, simple and straightforward words can do better than some formal and tried formulas. Well, you need to learn that first. Hey how about a simple game, now?"

"A game?"

"I'll tell VIXX members name, one by one and you should tell me about that one quality you like the most."

"Okay"

"Hmm. Ravi?"

"Sincerity."

"Ha. Hyuk"

"Presence of mind"

"Hongbin"

"Straightforwardness"

"Ken"

"Sweet"

"N?"

I blinked. Paused. Breathed out. Why is it hard to say good things, especially that I like, on someone's face. I asked myself feebly.

"Comfort"

"What?"

"Just because"

"No you can't play just because, with me."

"Anybody can feel comfortable to talk to you or even to open their minds, because trust feels easy with you." I looked down and stared at my feat. My heart raced a little and I hated the blush making everything obvious.

Instead of his famous squeezie hug, he touched my face, "Are you sure?" He asked happily. I nodded and he smiled to himself. I didn't know what was in his mind.

Ken walked into the bedroom and looked at N. I thought he wanted to talk to N. But he didn't say anything.

I pulled Ken closer putting my one arm around his hip. "I'm sorry Kennie," I said.

Ken touched my cheek, "I've forgotten----" he was trying to say something but N cut him off, "I don't think so." Ken sighed. "Now. I. Am. Okay." He said. "Ah huh..." N teased him.

I freed Ken, from myself. "Learnt to talk your mind, as soon as possible?" N asked in a low tone so that Ken couldn't listen. His promise to me, though.