[VIXX NEO] My Journey To Happiness

Chapter Ten

I just came back from the last stage of "Beautiful Liar" and my throat felt freaking tired! That high tone took a lot of me.

But I was extremely happy and Ravi said that he was satisfied, too.

I took a long shower, felt very pleasant.

After few minutes, I thought of talking to N. He should know how much happy I was on the stage. LR was like my baby.

It was strange that N didn't come out of his room and asked about our performance. I hope he was fine.

As I took my steps towards the bedroom, I heard someone crying. It was N's voice for sure.

He said, "I don't know what to do? How could I fix the thing?" he cried. My mind stopped working for a while.

I peeped in and I saw he was crying on Ken's chest, who was stroking his hair with a serious look on his face.

At first I felt so bad and helpless. I just wanted to see N smiling again, as soon as possible.

'He was always there whenever I needed but I wasn't there when he was in trouble'. I thought to myself.

But, slowly the darker side of me gripped my neck and spoke negative words.

My mind twisted my words, 'He is a sly, who plays mind games and see your mistakes. But, he isn't easy for you to read. Why? Why he can't make the same promise to you? Why he can't choose you for comfort than other members?'

I closed my eyes and shook my head twice.

'Your emotions are kept open but he won't do that? Does he ever said he's hurt, to you, in private? He says openly to all the members but where are you, Leo?' My inner voice from the darker side raised.

I felt the sweat beads forming on my forehead.

I opened my eyes and walked near the window. I'd lost into my own thoughts and past few days were played like a movie in front of my eyes.

Especially the day after my promise to N, I felt really different and relieved. But, today I was hurt!

I stayed there for one hour and I felt someone's presence beside me. I saw N sitting beside me, "How was your day? Ravi said you enjoyed a lot? I'm glad". He smiled.

I didn't like that smile. It was fake.

"Ask Ravi about rest of the things too," I couldn't hold the pain of anger.

"Leo?" N asked in a soft tone. He was still stubborn to admit anything to me.

I stood up, but he wrapped his fingers around my wrist, standing up, "What's wrong?" He asked.

I rolled my eyes and tried to leave the room, but his grip tightened.

"N better you don't speak a word to me right now! I don't think I can spare you?" All the bitterness, started flowing out of my lips, from my mind.

"Leo, tell me what went wrong?" He asked, yelling at me.

"Voice down Mr. Cha!" I glared at him, "I can yell too. But its too late, Cha. No meaning of yelling cause I don't think I should care. Because you failed. Failed to keep up the friendship". I said.

"Are you nuts?" He gritted his teeth, "Okay, okay, you must be misunderstood with something it seems" He looked defeated.

"Why? Only you can be an expert in mind analysis and I can't understand?"

"Leo"

"That's it!" I walked out of the room.

Tears started falling down my cheeks, unknowingly and my chest felt very warm.

I sat on the grass, in the lawn.

I saw Ken walking towards me and he sat beside me, even though I told him to go away.

"Can I talk to you?" he asked.

"Can I get some privacy?"

"Bro?"

"Get lost, Ken."

"You have to listen!"

"You won't obey me?" I asked gritting my teeth.

"If you care about N bro, you should listen!"

My heart betrayed me, the greed of knowing what Ken wants to say, got the best of me. I nodded.

"N bro was shooting his drama, 'Life On The Other End' and one of the staff made a comment on you".

"Me?"

"Yes. They said that poker face Leo would never get a drama. N felt bad and made a comment on that. It turned into a word war and now they're trying to ban VIXX from South Korea. Which is not possible its a mere joke! I believe. They said none of the VIXX member would ever get a drama! But, I and Hongbin got dumped from our drama shoot. So, N bro is feeling very sad".

"What?"

"Yes" he started crying "and you've hurt him more!"

"I'm terrible." I said, nodding to myself.

"He didn't told you because you just came back from your stage show and you looked tired. He didn't want you to strain your throat, like you're doing now. Crying!"

"Ken, I'm sorry!"

"Its okay bro. Its okay to get jealous!" He smiled through his tears.

I blinked my eyes, "What?"

"You got angry because N told me and not you? I am watching you, getting closer to N bro and a bit possessive."

"Nothing like that!"

"That's what I don't like about you. When you're caught doing something, but still you won't admit it? Its normal to be protective over your best friend. Maybe its a reason why we think twice before opening our hearts to you. No offense!"

"Ken, I don't know how to react over certain things and I don't even know what upsets me!"

"Bro, its fine. Change yourself towards the betterment. We love you, the way you are. But, don't get burdened by your own emotions."

"Hmm"

"Let's go in?"

"Kennie, how can I face N?"

"Just grab my hand and let's go."

"But?"

"Just come with me!" He dragged me inside and forced me to face N.

I saw Ravi and Hongbin staring at me, while N's eyes looked tired of crying. Hyuk was starting at the floor.

I couldn't pick up words. My gestures might help. I thought.

I just hugged N very tight and he wrapped his arms around me. We cried for a while without a word. Then I apologized and he said "Love you."

It literally meant, that he has forgiven me! "Love you too brother," I said. He smiled and so did I. Rest of the people sighed with relief.

"I'll fix it, N" I assured him.

"You will?"

"Anything for VIXX. Anything for my brothers. Love you all!" I said with a big smile.

"We love you so much," they all said in monotone, including N.

Hyuk pulled us for a group hug.