Forbidden

Chapter sixty-three

Song for the chapter: Three doors down - Here without you

***

Someone shakes me while I gain conscious.

"Liv." It's Alice. I sit up suddenly feeling very disoriented and dizzy looking at her sunken face, every part of my body was heavy and numb."Drink this." she encouraged by touching a cold glass of water to my forearm but I avert my eyes around.

"Where am I?" I asked her groggily sitting up slightly, trying to tame my hair with my hands. Then I remember what happened when I see myself in the living room."Zayn..." I feebly whimper, putting my hands over my face.

Oh God. When will this stop?

"I'm so sorry Liv." she barely spoke and it felt like she was far away.

Mumbling incoherently, I shrink back in the sofa, too overwhelmed to sit up properly. With crinkled eyebrows and in a frown twisted mouth I stared up at the ceiling, my heart gradually slowing down in my chest.

This had to be some kind of nightmare.

I couldn't name what emotions cursed through me at that moment because they changed every minute. Denial was the strongest one. Then came insanity, and lastly numbness.

"No, no. If I don't see him, I won't believe." I whispered my whole body jerking as the panic I feel still hadn't faded and when I look at her she gave a sympathetic stare, but I knew it was strained.

There's a loud crash and we both moved our heads and saw from the opened door that Liam destroyed a vase on the hall. Louis, Niall and Harry looked like they were trying to talk him into something but I didn't know what.

The way Liam was throwing his arms around and speaking loudly told me he was not pleased about it.

"Who called Liam?" I mumble tiredly, having to distract myself from my thoughts.

"Liv you aren't-"

"Who. Called. Him?" I sternly asked but with a wavering voice. She sighed.

I had to know as much as I didn't believe it.

"Some of their man who had successfully wired inside the gathering where the gangs met for...uh..." she hesitated,"you know." she quietly explained not meeting my eyes."He heard by accident." she began with a very sad voice, "But he came in too late." A gasped forced my eyes to close because of the stinging sensation on the middle of my chest. "They..t-the-ey threw his body in a river." she whimpered, my eyes welled up with tears but I shake my head frantically.

"No." I cried my voice taking on hysteria as my eyes almost popped out of my skull, my voice wasn't mine, this moment wasn't happening."He will be back." I nod to myself. "He promised me... H-he said he would always come back to me if I wait for him." I robotically mumbled, Alice seemed dazed while her teary eyes bored into me. "He did." I exclaim sternly and ran away after noticing her mortified expression.

Once in my room I finally decided that I would leave thinking about what I should do, how to feel or where to search for him and come back to it later, after I'd taken a shower and cleared my head. If anything, it would help me to relax and unwind before I made any brash decisions one way or the other.

I'm not sure how long I stayed under the stream of water, but it was long enough for the thoughts that had been plaguing me to disappear temporarily and that was good enough for me. My curls were weighed down by the water that soaked through my hair and my skin was tinged a light shade of pink by the time I got out of the shower and I noticed a towel was neatly folded and sitting on the sink counter, I take it wrapping it on my body then ventured to my room.