Forbidden

Chapter eighty-one

* Don't worry this chapter is all about healing. x

#Ot5
#Zaynsstill1Daf

And that's why kids you don't believe what the media or papers say. Soz for being salty but finally all the ones who hated on Zayn and actually really thought the boys hate each other can back off.

***

Louis' return got delayed because he was still too weak. So he had to stay for a few more days.

Since Zayn went to pick up Louis and refused to take me with him I'm upset and might have cussed at him shamelessly until he was out of sight.

The drinking got heavier, I got thinner. I don't know how alcohol could make it better and I used to loathe it but since it helped me sleep I didn't dwell on it.

With slow steps, walking high of sleepless nights and dizziness like the majestic phoenix in all the myths, I arrive in the kitchen I see Harry who is cleaning his knives.

"If I recognize the weapon can you find me the assassin?" I blurt out. He looks up from the sink, frowning deeply.

I had to do everything to find the murderer.

He's shirtless, only in those skinnies that I'm sure don't do anything good to his blood circulation but who am I to judge? I haven't changed in days.

"Maybe.. I mean if it's not a common knife, a rare one then I can do some research. But there's like thousands of types. Did you see which brand or what the metal type was?" he asked once he got over his confusion and knew what I mean.

"I will need a lot of booze to handle this shit." I mutter bitterly at him. He shrugged, complying and took a bottle of vodka from a drawer.

We down some shots to make it easier for me to go through with this then I rake my mind, "It shined and I think it was stainless steel."

He quickly picked up a laptop and we looked through some of the knives, I explained to him which shape it had. I find some similar but not quite the one I was looking for. If I wasn't drunk I wouldn't stand the thought of doing this let alone really trying this.

"Has Liam called or talked to you?" I quietly questioned, he stares at me so long I get uneasy.

"I tried but he doesn't answer."

He scrolls down some more, our thighs were brushing since we were sitting closely and looking intently through them, taking shots from time to time.

"Wait!" I panicked as I see the one knife that brought everything back.

The screams, the noises, her getting stabbed, her face during her last breath...

I can't breath.

"Olivia," Harry calls or yells but I can't tell until he wraps his arms around me while I'm having a panic attack.

There is a sudden surge of overwhelming anxiety and fear. My heart pounds and I can't breathe. I may even feel like I'm dying or going crazy. It's this intense experience of fear coupled with an overwhelming feeling of danger. I'm sweating and not knowing where I am, once I'm at the scene where everything took a drastic turn then back here.

"What...where-" I sob then try to breath.

"You're safe." Harry's low voice rings through my head.

I'm slowly getting aware of my surroundings, taking deep breaths, while leaning on his shoulder, then release the breaths quickly while dampening his skin with my tears, he's holding my hand.