In Principio

Listless

I feel so listless, i have no motivation these days

not to eat, or read, or study, or work out, or achieve

or do anything, really. fantasizing was one of my most favorite

hobbies, but i can't keep it up for longer than a few seconds, either. i don't

have a vision, and i feel so blind like i just keep running head first into an

invisible hazy storm.

maybe I'm depressed, but then again, depressed people don't know they are. I'm not sad

or anything, but I'm not happy either. being with my friends is not too exciting, more of a task

to get checked of a list actually. music can't move me the way it did, reading can't instill in me

that far away awe and desire the way it did, and writing, well you know how it just keeps sounding

like a repeat of the same ideas over and over again. i don't feel focused on my studies, and I'm not

sure since when getting a B on an assignment or even in a class doesn't frighten the way it always

has. i don't know what to do with free time, i don't know what these feelings are, i don't know

anything really, but i do know this is not me, and this not how i want to keep feeling.

yet i can't change it.