With All My Heart, Tronnor

Locked

Troye POV

I miss Australia.

I miss My Home. My Room. My Bed.

I miss Sage, I miss Tyde, I miss Steele, I miss Dad.

And I miss everything about Perth.

But, there's no comparison to how much I miss my Mom.

I miss laying in bed with her tickling my arm, I miss talking to her about anything and everything, I miss staying with her and feeling safe.

Safe.

What is feeling safe?

It's a very simple thing if you try and understand. It's to protect someone. It's to make someone feel they're far away from danger and nothing could hurt them.

And I've experienced this said feeling on certain occasions.

Like,
When I'm laying in bed with Mom.
When I'm out with my Dad.
When I'm in my bed, under my covers.
When I'm listen to good calming music.
And,
Every single second I spent with Connor.

Weird how the person who made me feel like no outer force could hurt me whatsoever, is the reason I carve being at home, I carve my mothers arms wrapped around me.

I crave safety.

Strange, how a single person can put so much impact on your life.

Before what happened yesterday, I was sure that he loved me but when he said he didn't, even though it was all over his face that he straight out lied to me, I couldn't help but wonder if it was true.

What if he never loved me?

But what if he did?

And what if he just stopped loving me?

The what if's are more like venom, if they're not dealt with in time, they will eventually kill us.

And this venom had already found its way inside my body.

"Emma, can we go back to Australia?" I had asked this morning while we waited for Hannah to arrive so we three could go have breakfast "I need a break."

"I can try" she replied after a while, giving me the look.

The look is the look that you give when you know something's wrong, you wanna know what it is, but you know you can't just ask.

"I can talk to them later today at the meeting" she finished.

"Thanks" was all I could say.

And this was how the venom knew it was time to start acting upon the process of killing me and that's why I required safety. I wanted my mom to act upon the venom, take it out, be the antidote.

Because, I chose to ignore my what if's, I decided not to get an answer to them and just leave.

I chose to run away and hide which gave the poison the power to get on action.