With All My Heart, Tronnor

Love

Connor POV

When do you know you're in Love?

Is it when all the love songs start making sense? Or when you start watching more and more romantic movies?
Is it when, a simple text has the power to paste a smile on your face for an entire day? Or when you want to visit all the romantic places with him?
Maybe, it's when you get out of your house, the first place you want to visit is the place you know he'll be? Or when all you can think about is that sparkle in his eyes, when he throws his head back laughing?
I guess, it's when all you can do is think about him, all day, all night.

Because, I really need to know. I need to know what love is.

How do we know we're in love? Is there a signal that tells us or is there a bell that goes off? Or was it the music that was supposed to be playing?

Because I heard nothing. No music, no bell, no signal, nothing. Still, I said it. I uttered those words, those three words that are still unexplainable.

Millions of poets, hundreds of writers.  All have tried their words to put a meaning behind it, to put a reason behind it; but have sadly failed.

But, I need to know. I need a meaning, an explanation to what I am feeling.

When I saw him leave. When I had this bitter realisation that he was gone, I had a rush of emotions.

In that one minute, I felt sad, broken and incomplete because it felt like I was losing a part of me, like someone rip off my heart and left me like that, crying and bleeding on the floor and I said it.

Even though I knew he was gone, even though I knew no one could hear me, I just said it, because it felt right. Because, for once, it felt real and I was sure. In that moment, I knew I loved him and I knew, my first, actual love, was gone.

I am not really sure what this is now, it's been a few days and I've heard nothing from him. Every evening I find myself in the coffee shop next to his studio. Even though it's almost 20 minutes away form where I live, I go there,
Every. Single. Day.

I have this hope in my heart, that may be we'll crash into each other, talk things out, sort everything,

I don't know!

I just, I miss him..

"Excuse me, your phone's been ringing" A girl, tapping on my shoulder, snapped me out of my daze.

I was sitting on a  garden bench, just a minute walk away from home and just staring at the nature, contemplating things, life.

I glanced at the girl looking down at me. She had her long brown hair tied up in a pony tail, her bangs falling on her forehead and sweat making a visibly thick layer over her red face.

With headphones and joggers on, she opened her mouth again,

"Excuse me" she repeated "your phone"

"Oh, yeah, thanks"

She smiled and resumed her run. I shot a quick glance at my phone, not bothered to even see who was calling, I silenced it from the side button.