Back to Reality

~Chapter Twenty-Seven~

Our wedding was beautiful, I wore the dress I'd always dreamed of. White, covered in lace, complete with a translucent lace train. It was everything I dreamed it would be. The wedding jitters, the cake, the church. Most important of all, though, was the look on Asher's face when he saw me coming down the aisle. He looked like he had won the lottery and I was the ticket, or that all his dreams had finally come true. The only thing missing was the one who really brought us together. Asher still had Nathan as his best man. He put a framed picture of Nathan next to himself so that he could be there with us -- though I'm sure he was watching.

Better than that, though, was the day I told him that there wasn't just the two of us anymore. Between the stabbing from Seth's father and the beating from Seth, I had some serious fertility issues. We'd just about given up all hope at becoming parents.

Until one day.

I started noticing that foods weren't tasting right, and I seemed to be feeling a little, different.

I took a test. And then I took three more.

And I cried after every single one of them.

I am a very emotional woman.

~.~.~.~.~

I gave him a present that night.

He was so puzzled, worried that he somehow forgot our anniversary, even though he never could.

The card said:

First came love,
Blessed by a brother who's up above,
Then came marriage,
But what we need now is the baby carriage

He looked at me with wide eyes and tore into the box.

He found a tiny statue of a baby in an old-fashioned carriage, and a shirt that said,

"Hello, my name is Dad."

Even he cried then. It was wonderful.

He jumped up and swung me around. Then he freaked out. He was afraid he'd hurt the baby. He treated me like I was breakable from then on.

~.~.~.~.~

Until now.

Now I'm in the hospital once again, though it's a different room this time.

I'm finished going through the memories, reliving my past from the day before everything changed until now. No more distractions from the pain, because now it's time to push. I could tell you about the baby shower, or the father's "what if I'm not cut out for it" jitters, but right now is what I need to focus on. I would say he's holding my hand, but it would be more accurate to say that I'm breaking his. He's taking it like a man.

"You're doing great Sam," he says, but I'm not really listening, just focusing. Waiting. My memories carried me this far, distracting me from the pain, but now it's time for us to make new ones.

I finally hear it, "One last push."

I do, with all my might. I'm so exhausted, I might just melt into the bed. I'm so tired. I feel my eyelids droop.

But then there's a cry and I'm wide awake. Asher looks at me with wide eyes as the doctor says, "It's a boy."

He puts the tiny, quiet thing that I've worked so hard for in my arms. Asher's smiling at us. We are a family.

"It's time to make some new memories.

Hello little Nathan."