High (Phan AU)

Deed

  I wish you were still asleep.
I thought to myself. At the same time I was happy to be smothered by a risen Dan Howell.
"How did you sleep?" I asked him. His warm body pressed sleepily against mine.
"Pretty well, how about you?"

I didn't but thanks for asking.

"I slept fine." I lied. I didn't sleep a wink and I was already feeling it.

"Good." Dan said as he pecked my cheek.
Waves of guilt shot through my body temporarily paralyzing me. I couldn't move a muscle in those few seconds.

"Yeah." I managed to say as I regained my motor skills.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Dan peeled himself out of the bed and started the shower leaving me alone in my room. It was still dark. My body was cold and I felt like my insides were vibrating.
I knew that I wasn't going to be able to keep this in much longer. I had to tell him today.
And I was going to.
I got out of bed despite having the feeling of vertigo I stood up anyway to change my clothes and freshen up a bit.
Knowing that this was going to take a while, I figured that I was just going to take Dan out first and then on the car ride home I will tell him...?
Is that what people do now? Just lay shit on thick after a good day out?
No. I'm not a shitty teenager, nor have I ever been.
I decided to text Oli about what I should do.

"Hey, so I didn't sleep last night :L I feel like shit, but what should I do about this?"

I slid my phone in my pocket as I plugged my flat iron in the outlet.

Buzz buzz

"Shit dude that sucks...:/ and how you should tell him? I'd just start with a normal day out. Don't make him suspicious of course."

"Yeah. I won't. But I can see why that would make him think something's up."

So I went with my first thought. I'm going to take him out and then tonight..if I don't pass out from exhaustion, I will tell him.

Buzz buzz

"You should take him out for a walk at Holland Park in London!"

Oli suggested.

"Perfect! Thank you!"

After going over the last piece of my hair I felt another wave of fatigue mixed with dizziness, and of course my heart was clenched with guilt.
I sat down because I was already hot (temperature wise) from doing my hair.

Okay deep breaths. I need to play this off. Dan needs to think that nothing is wrong. You can do this...you can do this. You can do this.

I then stood up and I went into the bathroom where Dan was still in the shower, I could hear the soap hitting the bath tiles and him humming a familiar tune which just so happened to be Bliss by Muse.
My heart throbbed because that was one of my favorite bands of all fucking time and we haven't even talked about that before.
I shook that from my head. I didn't want to break my "concentration"
I knocked on the wall that was next to the black shower curtain.
"Dan?" My voice was forced, my nerves were present.

"Oh shit, haha hello Phil"

"So I would like to take you out today." I said as I pulled the shower curtain open a bit, I peeked my head in.
He poured some conditioner into his hand and then ran it through his brown hair.

"Phil, you've already taken me to the mall and bought me loads of clothes, you don't have to do anything else."

I smiled.

"I want to take you to Holland park."

He stopped and turned to me:

"That's so far away though!"