Lasting Love

My Own Paradise

Watching my 3 amazing children play with my equally amazing husband is the best thing I could ask for. It's my paradise. I'm lucky enough to have the most beautiful, healthy and playful kids, and even if they drive me crazy, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I don't need a brand new car or a huge glamorous house to be happy, all I need is time with my family. They're all that I'll ever need, and days like today when we all get to spend time together remind me of how happy and lucky I truly am.

"Momma!!" I look to my side as little hands touch my shoulder, and see Lexie pulling herself up in the sand. She's getting big way too fast. I can't believe that she's one today.

"Hi, baby!" I pick her up setting her on my lap. She talks her own little baby talk to me for a few minutes before deciding that I'm boring and goes back to Justin, Kay and Ben.

I stand up and follow her as she takes turns walking and crawling up to them. Once she gets to Justin she yells for him putting her arms up and he picks her up right away. She wraps her arms around his neck and clings onto him like this is the last she'll see him. Her and Kay truly love him more than anyone else. Ben of course loves him too, but he's always been closer to me. They say, "The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." and Justin does that, and more. He's always trying to be the best example he can be for them, and I try my best as well. We want nothing but the best for them now, and when they grow up.

Kayleigh and Bentley are running at the edge of the sand and the ocean waves at the border of getting in trouble and being safe. They keep inching closer and closer to the waves, giving me mini heart attacks each time one gets close to hitting them. They know their boundaries, and are constantly trying to cross them.

"Kids, I don't want the ocean monster to take you!" I hate to do it, but sometimes fake monsters are the only way to get them to listen. Justin goes along with this idea making them even more scared.

"You guys better listen to mommy, I heard the ocean monster likes to eat little kids who run in the water without adults." I almost feel bad for them because of the looks of terror on their faces, but it works.

I feel the warmth of Justin's hand as it makes its way across my back, and over my shoulder to its resting place. He gently pulls me closer to him and I lay my head on his shoulder as we watch Kay and Ben play in the sand. Lexie is content where she is in her daddy's arms, and even extends her arm so that she can touch my arm, making me feel like for once she just might want me as much as she wants him.

It's so hard to believe that a year ago today I was laying in a hospital bed cursing Justin, and a year before that she wasn't even thought of. Today, I couldn't imagine my life without her in it. She truly, like Kay and Ben, is a huge miracle.

"Happy Birthday, Alexia!!"

Justin and I watch as Kay and Ben "help" Lexie blow out the candles on her birthday cake. It's a bittersweet moment watching your children grow up so fast.

Lexie doesn't think twice about it and immediately grabs her cake eating as much as she can at once. She's getting it all over herself, but she's so happy doing it and it's so cute. Kay and Ben both take little pieces of the cake laughing at how mad Lexie gets, but it's funny to see. Justin helps them split up the cake while I take millions of pictures not wanting to ever forget this time.

"Hey," Justin sits down in the sand next to me. We sit in silence for a few seconds as we watch the kids work on a sandcastle. They're so content playing together that it amazes me. They could be fighting over something stupid, but instead they love being around each other.

"You know, this is where we saw each other before we got back together," Justin wraps his arms around me pulling me closer to him "This exact spot."

I take a moment to think back to think back to that day. I came here to think things over about the crazy turn that my life had just taken. At that time, I had no idea what to do, but just seeing Justin helped me. He saved me from getting myself in the wrong situation. He is the sole reason that I am who I am today. Without him, I could've ended up with the first guy I saw for a rebound, or possibly taken Brad back when he asked for forgiveness.

I turn so that I'm facing him and kiss him. The kind of kiss that I know he won't be forgetting anytime soon.

"You coming here to find me that day is the best thing that could have happened to me. Without you I wouldn't have anything I have today," I turn to face the kids "Most importantly, I wouldn't have them."

"I love you, babe." He kisses my forehead "The best thing that I could have done for myself was being here that day."

"I love you, too."

Just then, all three kids come running back to us taking their spots on our laps. They excitedly point out every little thing they see from seagulls, to waves, and even some dolphins out farther in the ocean. I wish we could stay here in this moment forever so that they could stay this young. I want them to stay this innocent forever, and not have to grow up and learn the bad in this world. As their mother, I want them to see the world as a place where they can make a difference in a good way.

I want to look back on this day 20 years from now, with Justin and know that we raised 3 children who are good people, and want to make the world a better place, in whatever way they choose.

Last part! I hope everyone liked it, and had as much fun reading as I did writing! :)