Lasting Love

Baby talks

Baby that's all I've been able to think about the past two weeks since the condom broke on us. I don't know how to talk to Justin about it either, especially because of the way I freaked out when it happened. We haven't been the same towards each other since then, but I need to tell him about this. I really do want another baby, and maybe it just took that incident to figure it out. I know that he does too, and that we can handle a third child, but I don't know that he wants one right now. We've always said we would wait until the one before is at least one before trying again, and Ben is only almost 7 months old. I'm sitting at a picnic table at the park watching Justin play with Kay while Ben takes a nap, and all I can think about is a baby. What our life would be like if we had three kids, and how much Justin and I would love it. I wish I could just find the strength to talk to him about it, but it's a hard topic to bring up when we're already sleep deprived enough with two. I need to find a time when we aren't busy to talk about this.

"Babe, can we talk?" I yell from our bathroom where I'm changing to the bedroom where Justin is already in bed "It's important." He sits up in bed as I walk out "Yeah, of course. What's up?"

I get in bed laying on my side and look over at him "Promise you won't freak out or think I'm crazy for this?" He nods his head so I continue "I really want a baby. It's all I've been able to think about since the condom broke."

He looks at me closely for a minute or two to study my facial expressions "But you were freaked out when that happened. Are you sure you really want this or is it just hormones?" He really thinks I would say something like this and not be serious?

"Yes," I hold his hand for emphasis "I really want another one. Kay and Ben are growing up too fast and soon we aren't going to have any, I'll miss it too much."

"But, Jen," He fights back softly "We already have two perfect kids, don't you think that's enough? I'd like a third one too, but why put ourselves through the pressure of trying for one when we already have 2?" This is a very good point.

I must have let my emotions get to me without realizing it, because I am now crying. Does he really not want to do this? "Just say no if you don't want to. I'd rather you tell me now than when it's too late." He surprises me by wiping away my tears and kissing me "Of course I want another baby." This makes me feel so much better, and he is now smiling "I just wanted to make sure you were serious about it, and how it might be more difficult this time." With Kay and Ben we're already stressed out making sure that we keep them alive and well every day, and stress isn't actually the best thing for when you're trying to get pregnant.

"I know that, but I want this so much that it's worth everything."

He flips me over and pins me down so I'm laying under him causing me to giggle "Then I guess we should start working on it." He kisses me passionately.

Justin's POV

Jen is sleeping cuddled up to me with the blanket covering her now naked body, and I can't fall asleep. How could anyone fall asleep when they have someone as beautiful and amazing as her cuddled up to them? Sometimes, I wonder how I got lucky enough to get her to marry me. When we broke up the first time I really thought we would never end up back together again, but now we are and I wouldn't change it for anything. We've gone through so much together and anything that was hard just brought us closer together. She's given me two amazing children; going through pregnancy and birth, when all I had to do was have sex, and for that I would do anything for her. Even if it means she has to go through it again, I'll be right by her side the whole time helping in any way that I can. She means the world to me, and nothing will ever change that. I know this is going to be stressful, but we can make it.