Chapter 49: Feelings Changed

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When both me and Sam woke up in the morning we decided the best thing to do was get me back home. Nate has to have noticed I'm gone by now. It's 11 in the morning. Me and Sam never wanted to leave each other last night.

So we fell asleep together. Right in each others arms, just like it's supposed to be. The way it always was when we were living together.

My phone was dead. So I'm not sure if Nate had tried calling me. Oh god he must be freaking out.

But honestly I don't really care about that. Weird to admit, but it's true. Nate shouldn't worry about me. I'm capable of doing things on my own. Which is something he should be able to understand very well by now.

Sam and me managed to get out of his house without his parents or even Emily or Ben seeing us. We didn't drive over to Nate's. Instead we decided we'd walk down there.

It was about a 20 minute walk from Sam's to Nate's house. Neither of us complained about it. The walk was really quite refreshing. Being able to hold Sam's hand and hear his voice was also very reassuring for me. God his voice. His touch. Things I haven't been able to experience for to long of a time.

When we eventually got closer to Nate's I noticed what looked like Johnson's car in the driveway. Oh jeez. Nate already called over the Jack's. They're all going to be freaking out. Worrying themselves to death on what might have happened to me. 

Wish they were a little more chill and wouldn't worry about me so much.

"I take it they don't know you're gone." Sam spoke up.

"No, they don't I snuck out last night while everyone was sleeping." I sighed.

"Well they'll all be shocked to see that I'm the one to bring you home." He said. Slightly smirking to himself. Trying to hide it from me.  

Sam gripped my hand tighter as we made it up to the porch of the house. I took in a deep breath then opened up the door. 

My feet carried me inside to the entryway, slowly and hesitantly. Sam right behind me.

He shut the door behind him and the two of us looked up. Waiting for the first person to come in and find us.

Which only took two seconds.

Kami was the one to see us first. Everyone else following her into the room.

"Oh thank god Riley you're alright." Kami said.

I just smiled at her as a response.

"Oh my god, Sam?" Johnson questioned.

Everyone's attention was towards me. Totally not acknowledging that Sam was by my side. But Johnson was the first to notice. Now everyone's attention was towards Sam.

He stood beside me. Not saying a word. He didn't know what to say. He's been gone and feels guilty knowing what they had to go through with me.

Which was a lot. All of the guys witnessed the pain and depression I was going through.

I looked over at Nate. He wasn't saying anything. But he definitely had a pissed off look on him.

It took him a few seconds to move. Nate made his way closer to me and Sam. Nate didn't come to me though. He went to Sam. I wasn't sure what was happening until it happened.

Nate's hand formed a fist and he full force swung it around to connect with Sam's face.

I let out a silent gasp and I couldn't help but picture something else. Him punching Sam brought back many memories. Austin and Max punching Johnson. Me getting punched by them, by Cody, by my parents. Every punch I've seen flashed through in front of me like a whole video montage.

My body was frozen and I wasn't sure on what to do. My eyes just stared at Sam and Nate.

Everyone in the room gasped as Sam fell to the ground and Nate stood tall over him.

"Nate!" Kami yelled. The Jacks stepped forward hoping he wouldn't do anything.

"I told you to never hurt her! Then you pull something like this! I could kill you Sam!" Nate yelled.

"I never meant to hurt her Nate." Sam yelled up at him then coughed from the pain. A little bit of blood started seeping out of the corner of Sam's mouth.

"You shouldn't even have the right to see her anymore. I made it very clear for you to treat her like a princess and you failed at that. For two weeks Sam she was heartbroken. She didn't eat or sleep or sometimes even move. You broke her." Nate yelled.

I was able to hear his words. But not able to process them enough to move or say something. Instead tears left my eyes and traveled down my cheeks.

"I saved Riley last night Nate! She snuck out looking for me. She went to the hill and then passed out. She would've frozen to death if it weren't for me!" Sam yelled.

Nate instantly calmed down a little. Becoming guilty in the process. The two of them looked over at me. They noticed I was crying. Also noticing I was completely still. Not moving an inch.

The two of them put a picture into my head. It brought me back to a few years ago. My dad was Nate. I was Sam.

I laid on the ground. Looking up at my father. He was glaring at me angrily. His fists curled. His knuckles turning white. I've never seen him so mad. I remembered to what day that was.

It was the night I first mentioned leaving. We were fighting and I wanted to leave. But I was only 14 and had nowhere to go. I didn't have a job with Austin and Max. I didn't have the idea of running away to Nate's house.

Too young.

I remember the pain coming from his punches. The force in his punch. The look of anger on him. My tears that never seemed to stop. The amount of cowardness I had back then makes me cringe.

I'm not like that anymore. I'm stronger now. But not right now. Right now... I'm breaking. And honestly it feels like I'm dying inside.

My heart beat wasn't fast for once. It was slow. Although my head was pounding. And the images of my past were haunting me. Driving me insane.

Nate was standing in front of me now. Sam a little bit behind him. Nate was calling my name. His hands shaking at my shoulders twice before dropping them to his side. Everyone in the room looked at me confused.

But really all I could hear was my father or my mother. All I could see was them. For once it wasn't Austin and Max haunting me since I've left. It was the ones who've made everything in my life go the way it has. It was the ones who made me who I am.

It was my parents.

And the image and thought of them... the fear and hatred toward them... all of it built up inside of me...

Was enough to break me.

Just like last night... everything went black.

I fell to the floor. Nate not being able to catch me.

I became unconscious. Not able to form any movement, sound, or acknowledgement of me being alive. Except for breathing and my beating heart.

The slow heartbeat in me that somehow has been able to keep itself beating even throughout all of my shitty life experiences.

I give it props. It's done a lot. And it's kept me alive for so many years. And it continues to keep me alive today.


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