They Don't Know About Us

Chapter 17 Gwen /

Zayn's kiss still lingered on my lips. I couldn't help myself but think about the kiss that happened a while ago. The kiss was so breathtakingly amazing, literally. I couldn't breathe when he started to lean on me. I was so unsure of what was going to happen.

But I did want to kiss him so badly. I tried to avoid his gaze 'cause every time I look at him, my eyes would land on his lips. I never expected him to kiss him. I tried to stop myself to kiss him, but his lips were so soft I couldn't stop myself. I wanted to kiss him so badly.

But this was all just a mistake. A mistake that could ruin my reputation. I knew I shouldn't have done that. Perrie could get really mad at me. My fans wouldn't like me anymore, they may even think I'm a slut. I could also be the reason why Perrie and Zayn broke up. I could also ruin One DIrection's reputation. I was so scared of what was going to happen. I didn't think. I was so stupid.

The next day, I got to go to the studio. I promised Allan that I was going to help them for their schedule. But I tried to avoid Zayn. Whenever he tried to talk to me, I'll just walk away as if Allan or Jasmine was looking for me. And if he locks gazes with me, I'll just give him a small smile and look away.

Okay, I was really nervous. I don't want to think about the kiss,but it would always replay in my mind. And I swear I could still feel the kiss. I didn't want to talk to Zayn because I know that he'll try to talk about the kiss. I didn't want to talk about it anymore.

But sometimes I lose focus. I'll think about the kiss again and Allan caughts me not paying attention to the instructions he was telling me. Jasmine sometimes caught me not paying attention on what she was saying. She will look at me with a worried expression and I'll give her a small smile to show her that I was okay.

"No something happened." Jasmine said worriedly when I didn't pay attention again. "You keep on dozing off and think about something. What happened to you and Zayn last night?" Jasmine asked. My heart beat pounded really fast I sworn that Jasmine could hear it.

"N-nothing happened last night." I stuttered. Ugh, I hate it when Jasmine makes me stutter.

"Okay, something definitely happened." Jasmine crossed her arms. "Explain."

"Look, I don't want to talk about it! Can I just have some peace?" I asked. I shook my head and turned around, leaving Jasmine down the hall. I know she is gonna come back, I just want some distance. I just want to clear my head.

As I was walking, I bumped into someone. "Sorry," I apologized, not bothering to look up at who I was looking at.

"Gwen, we need to talk." I heard a voice. I looked up to see Zayn looking at me with a worried expression. "About the kiss."

"No, no, no!" I exclaimed, covering my ears with my hands. I tried to say something so that I couldn't hear his voice. I was about to walk away as he grabs my wrist.

"Gwen!" He exclaimed, making me face him. "Gwen, I'm sorry it was because-"

"Look, we don't have anything to talk about." I said silently. "Let's just pretend that the kiss never happened, okay?" I whispered. "It was just a kiss."

"But did it mean anything?" Zayn asked, looking right through my eyes. I stood in silence, trying to figure out how to answer his question.

Did it mean anything? Yes. But is it right that it meant something? No. Zayn has a girlfriend. I don't want to break Perrie's heart. I know if I were in her situation, I would get hurt so badly. I don't want that to happen to Perrie.

I wanted to say that it meant nothing to me, but inside I know I was wrong. It really meant something. It made me fall for him. I realized it just now. I realized that that kiss could change my feelings for him. I just wanted to be friends with him. Just friends. But after the kiss, I wanted him to be mine. I know I sound crazy, but it's true. He stole my heart by that one kiss.

"No." I answered sternly as I shook my head. "The kiss didn't mean anything to me." I watched Zayn's features slowly changing. His expression changed with a mix of disappointment and hurt. I didn't know what he felt, but his feelings are wrong. He can't love me. I know he loves Perrie.

I know if I said that it meant something, there is a possible chance that he'll break up with Perrie and be with me. What will the media say? That Zayn's a cheater and I was the 'cause of their break-up? I don't want anymore drama. I don't want a fight with Perrie. I don't want to hurt Zayn's and Perrie's fans. I would be the 'cause of everything.

"Oh." Was all he said. "Guess the kiss didn't mean anything." I nodded slowly.

"I've got to go." I said, wanting to avoid Zayn again. "Allan's looking for me." I walked away, and Zayn didn't stop me anymore. Instead I left him behind. I took another glance behind me. Zayn's head was down, sadness taking over him. I turned my head around again and looked forward. I took a deep breath and walked away again.

This was all too much. I don't care if I hurt Zayn's feelings. Actually, he shouldn't have feelings. He has a girlfriend and has a good relationship going on. I don't want to break their relationship. It was all too much.

What I don't get is that why did Zayn have feelings for me? Why did it care for him to know if the kiss meant something to him or not? Why did the kiss mean something to me? And most importantly, why did he kiss me?

He kissed me in the wrong time. The time where he has a girlfriend and when I was hurting. He kissed me when my heart was breaking. Didn't he notice that he has a girlfriend? Didn't he notice that he could hurt Perrie's feelings? This was just too wrong.

As I was walking, I could feel Jasmine's presence next to me. She grabbed my wrist, hard, and dragged me to her dressing room. As she shut the door, she faced me with her serious expression. "What happened last night?" Jasmine asked. "Why did Zayn want to talk to you? Gwen, tell me what happened."

"I said that nothing happened!" I raised my voice. "You don't need to know."

"I deserve to know! Gwen, I'm your best friend!" Jasmine exclaimed. "What happened?"

I closed my eyes shut and took a deep breath, making myself calm down. Jasmine's right, she deserve to know. She's my best friend. "The truth is," I started. "Zayn and I kissed." I opened my eyes to see Jasmine's expression. She wasn't surprised, she wasn't happy, instead she has the same expression in her face.

"I was telling Zayn how hurt I was. I hugged him tightly. When we pulled back, he leaned and kissed me." I explained. "I paniced. I don't want to break Perrie's heart. It was all a mistake." I promised.

I sat down and Jasmine sat next to me. She squeezed my hand and looked into my eyes. "Did the kiss mean anything?" Jasmine asked slowly.

I squeezed my eyes shut and squeezed Jasmine's hand again. I slowly nodded as my heart pounded so fast. "Yes." I whispered. "But I don't want that to happen. I didn't want to fall for him." I said. I released my breath that I didn't know I was holding.

"So you're falling for him?" Jasmine asked. I opened my eyes and looked down.

"I'm about to." I answered honestly. "But Zayn has a girlfriend. They have a happy relationship. I don't want to break their relationship." I said. "What do you think the fans would say when they saw Zayn cheating on Perrie?"

"Does Zayn no what you feel?" Jasmine asked again. Every question she asks feels like she is putting weight on my shoulders.

"No." I responded, shaking my head. "I don't want him to know this. He might break-up with Perrie just to be with me. But I don't want that to happen." I look up to meet Jasmine's eyes. "Jazzy, please don't tell Zayn. I don't want to break Perrie's heart." I begged.

Jasmine looked at me looking unsure. "Please." I pleaded. Jasmine went through the same thing right now. I know she could understand and she could relate to this situation. I begged harder.

"Okay." Jasmine agreed. I let out a breath and smiled at her. "But promise me, you have to tell Zayn what you feel. Promise me." Jasmine said.

"I promise." I said, nodding my head. "Thank you, Jas." I hugged her tightly. "Thank you so much."