Courtesy Of Blurryface

I Had A Dream Where I Became A Fiend

If you think about it, maybe, we're all strangers to one another. I know that we have friends that we trust but when you first meet that friend, both yourself and that later-friend are strangers so how did you get them to trust you and how did they get you to trust them? Just because you have things in common and can relate to certain situations such as, suicide and depression doesn't mean that you can trust them. I know, I already trust Jenna and I've trusted Josh for 9 years but sometimes, I get afraid that Josh would end up hurting me, mentally or physically. The same with Jenna, maybe, she's not as sweet as she seems, maybe she has her demons like all of us but all I know is I need another friend, not that I'm getting sick of Josh.. I don't want to be a loner with one friend.

I remember last year, I got home and I took a nap. That year, my schizophrenic thoughts weren't personal, I had breakdowns in class and it was more public than I had ever been but that day when I took a nap at home because I was stressed out.

Then, I had a nightmare. I must mention that I hate when people say, "I had a bad dream." A dream is like Channing Tatum stripping down in girls' thoughts as they sleep.. Kind of like Magic Mike or a big butt and/or big boobs are guys thoughts as they sleep

Then, a nightmare is Freddy Krueger chasing you down the street in your thoughts as you sleep is a nightmare. Yes, I am referring to A Nightmare on Elm Street which is a nice movie but has a lot of curse words which like I said, I'm not okay with.

So, if you had a "bad dream" , that is called a nightmare.

Anyway, in the nightmare, there was some girl undressing in front of me, I don't know who it was but she was unstrapping her bra, then, I woke up. I know that every guy would prefer that kind of dream because I'm sure other guys would love to have a girl undressing in front of them in their thoughts as they sleep. In the nightmare, I felt like I was invading her privacy though, the girl was smiling as she was unstrapping her bra. Then, I thought in the nightmare, we would end up doing it but luckily, I woke up in a confused and scared state.

I went to English 304/AP American Literature after Creative and Artistic Writing.

Lucky enough, our American Literature teacher was Ms. Brooks. She is in her late 30's from what we know of and she's a very nice teacher. Also lucky enough, she assigned all of us to read a book so if you don't know what that means, I can read the book and write the "report" type thing from Creative and Artistic Writing. This book, from what I've heard is very good and popular but since I'm such a pessimist, I most likely won't enjoy it. The book is, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky.

I went to the rest of my classes today and Lunch which was good. We got to know Jenna more but I have to ask Josh what girl he is talking to online because I'm curious and I forgot to ask at Lunch.

Unfortunately, I still have to go to Mr. Nolans' office so we can talk about what's going on with myself. I don't like talking to him or really anybody about my thoughts because they are personal but my parents want me to get better.. So I must live up to that task.