Courtesy Of Blurryface

I Don't Have To See You Right Now

There is 3 months of school left and I have recently destroyed my friendship with Jenna and Josh.

I got so mad at her because of my business.

Then, Josh tried helping me and I called him a bad word. That word was, 'Cunt.' and I feel terrible for calling him that.

He did call me a psycho but cunt is a far more worse word than psycho.

We're going to China 1 month before school ends and so, I have 2 months to write these lyrics and figure out the tune.

Josh won't agree to drum with me, not after I called him that word.

Jenna on the other hand, hates me, ever since I got mad at them, which was 2 weeks ago, she sent me a voice message, I got the voice message the day after I got mad at her and Josh,

I set my backpack down, 

"And Tyler, you received a voice message half an hour ago."

"Okay, thanks mom."

I picked up my phone,                                 

You have received a voice message from: Jenna.

"Hey, uh, Tyler. It's Jenna, obviously. I just wanted to apologize about the happily ever after thing but.. I shouldn't have to. Tyler, I think you mentioned that you'd never doubt your beliefs and that you'd always stand by those beliefs no matter what. I remember, you said that a couple weeks after you had met me. That logic applies to everyone, and so, it applies to me. Happily ever afters do exist.. To me, at least. I know I said I'd prove to you that happily ever afters exist but after all we've gone through together, do I really have to prove it? I'm not saying WE could have been a happily ever after  but what was to stop us from becoming one?  None of us are perfect, however, you're an exception. You never changed, you only brought out your demons which is your schizophrenia. We all have our demons as well as myself. You're right, I do have a bitchy side and I feed myself the happily ever after bullshit all the time but the happily ever after bullshit is in fact, not bullshit. I'm sure you know what a bae is, I hope so and if you don't, it is a particular term for lover. Happily ever afters are futuristic-stay-together-until-death-do-you-part. I could see myself living that happily ever after with you but we can only choose a happily ever after when we're not actually with that person but if we were, we'd be sure that we could spend our whole life with that person with no regret, no doubts. Not only will I stand by the happily ever afters logic but I will stand by the fact that you.. Are my hea. Those are two things I could and never will doubt. Though, I think you need to bleed  to know that you're alive and have a soul."

The voice message ended.

Ever since I have received that voice message, I have been thinking about her ever since.

I want to see her but she doesn't want to see me.

I don't have to see her, I can't in this case, I want to see her, I feel like I have to see her but she doesn't have to see me, she's done this good avoiding me and, so, I should continue that pattern.

I need to go to sleep. So, I do.

When I wake up, I get myself ready and my parents take me to school.

I head toward Mr. Nolan's office and skip my first class.

"Tyler, what are you doing here?"

"Can I stay in here to write my song?"

"The one for China?"

I nod.

"I-What's your first class in the morning?"