An amateur zombie film

Scene 36 - the FINAL scene

SCENE 36

The group stumble out of an elevator, gagging.

Death: NOT EVEN THE DEAD SMELL THAT BAD.

Mel: You get used to it.

Jamie: No, no you don't.

They continue walking, and it gets progressively darker.

Jamie: Mel, you're beginning to glow…

Mel: What? That's crazy! (laughs nervously)

Death: THERE'S SOMETHING ODD ABOUT YOU.

Mel: Don't be ridiculous!

Director: (voice appears from ahead, and the group turn to see a big black chair obscuring the person sitting in the chair.) You may tell the truth now, Nicki.

Jamie: What's he talking about?! And how could we not notice that?

Mel: I'm Nicki Minaj!

Justin Bieber enters, and stands next to the chair, facing the group.

Justin Bieber: Surprised you, didn't we?

Jamie: Mel! How could you?

Mel/Minaj: Quite easily, actually.

Director: So, this is quite fascinating, isn't it? (turns the chair to face Death and Jamie.) Ah, Death, we meet at last.

Death: WE MET LAST WEEK. YOU HAD A HEART ATTACK, REMEMBER? I KINDA GAVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE.

Jamie: Dude!

Death: WHAT?

Jamie: you had the opportunity to take the guys life!

Death: I DIDN'T REALLY THINK ABOUT IT.

Director: no matter! So, Death, we meet again.

Death: YES. CAN WE MOVE ON NOW?

Director: Yes. Let's. So I bet you're all wondering what my part in this?

Jamie: Not really, no.

Death: WE'RE NOT REALLY INTERESTED IN A LONG TALE.

Director: Since you're so desperate to know what my part in all this is, I'll tell you. I caused the apocalypse!

Jamie: We gathered that already.

Director: Oh.

Death: IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU WANT TO TELL US, OR CAN WE KILL YOU NOW?

Director: (smirks) Good luck with that.

Jamie: Arrogant jerk. You're Death, you can just take his life.

Death: IT'S NOT ALL THAT EASY. YOU SEE, THERE ARE CERTAIN LAWS. BECAUSE I SPARED HIM HIS LIFE LAST WEEK, HE CAN'T DIE WITHIN A MONTH OF THAT, UNLESS I DUEL HIM AND HE LOSES.

Jamie: that's crazy!

Death: I DON'T MAKE THE RULES. MY WIFE DOES.

Jamie: Whipped.

Nicki: Oh my gawd, just shut up already and fight us.

Narrator: 3. 2. 1. FIGHT!

Game style fight sequence. Death fights the Director, Jamie fights Justin Bieber and Nicki Minaj. Nicki Minaj gets killed rather easily. Both Death and Jamie go through dark moments, both come out on top though.

Until.

Nicki Minaj and Justin Biebers song is turned on and playing full volume, which is caused by the dying Director. Death and Jamie fall to their knees in agony.

They are saved by Laurie.

Jamie: Laurie! You're alive!

Laurie: I am aware of that. You are very nearly not though. Why?

Jamie: Great Scott woman, I just defeated Nicki Minaj and Justin Bieber!

Laurie: Took your bloody time.

Jamie: There's only so much one bloke can do.

Laurie: You had Death on your side. And the cyborg Carter. And many others, you fool.

Jamie: Yeah, well… I…

Laurie: You're weak, man. Why are you fighting with glow swords?

Jamie: How'd you know about Carter? You weren't even around when he came into all this. Hang on, hang on. How do you even know me? Or better yet, how do I know you? We didn't meet. You were long gone before then.

Death: I THINK I JUST FOUND A PLOT HOLE.

Jamie: You found the plot hole? You found the plot hole?!

Death: YES. I MEAN, COME ON, NICKI MINAJ AND JUSTIN BIEBER DIDN'T DO A MASHUP OF THRILLER BY MICHAEL JACKSON. THEY DID SOME OTHER SONG, LIKE 'BEAUTY AND THE BEAST' OR SOMETHING. I DON'T KNOW. SOME LAME THING.

Jamie: This whole thing is full of plot holes. I mean, how on earth did Mel disguise herself as Nicki Minaj?

Laurie: Oh, that's kind of easy. Lots and lots of chicken fillets. And I knew who you were because there was this mad scientist who fixed Carter and then Carter told me all about you guys and how you're a jerk for leaving him for dead.

Jamie: He was being annoying…

Laurie: It really doesn’t matter anymore, anyways. It's over, since we defeated the Director, so Death can take everyone back, and now that JB and Nicki Minaj are dead, the fangirls will go back to being normal. Sort of. Until the next big thing comes up, like a bunch of clearly gay guys who still don't know their sexual orientation or something like that. 

Jamie: Yeah, like that will happen. I bet everyone's learned their lesson, that music is a sacred thing.

Narrator: And so, they parted ways, all preparing to do some serious damage repair and perhaps fill out a lot of paperwork, maybe some court orders, a lot of funerals, and many, many wondrous things.

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It's over! That's the end of it. Shout out to everyone who's read this, thanks for reading, thanks for support, etc. etc.

Feel free to film this, if you want (just please credit me!).

Sorry the ending's a bit sloppy.

Also, please remember that this is just a joke, don't take anything too seriously in this.