If I.

|Chapter 12|

Fran's POV

-The morning after-

"I uh.. Made tea" I smiled awkwardly, trying to gage his reaction.

Did he remember last night?

Not that there was much to remember. Yes we did kiss, but nothing happened much after that, as he funnily passed out.

Yes. I wish I was joking.

"Yeah" he partly moaned while sipping the warm drink, "This tastes so good"

I had to look away for a second because my mind went somewhere completely different.. Yay way to go Fran.

"Did you take something for your headache?" I asked trying to divert my thoughts. I mentally patted myself on the back.

"Mhmm" he hummed, still enjoying his morning tea, "I'm sorry... About last night, I shouldn't have dragged you into this" he mumbled shaking his head.

"It's fine.. Really, I'm glad you're alright"

"Thank you.. I just.. I know you're Ambers friend and.."

"I'm your friend as well.. Aren't I" I asked hesitantly.

There was a long pause.

Were we friends? We were more than just acquaintances that's for damn sure, but was that all I was to him. Just Ambers friend?

We did kiss last night, but he didn't seem to remember that.

"Don't get me wrong.. You're really nice.." He said looking down at his tea, away from my embarrassed gaze.

Oh.

If that didn't lower my self confidence I don't know what will. I was nice? What a way to tell someone you don't want to be friends with them. Nice? Really?

"I get it"

Did I though? Why couldn't I be his friend? This was completely and utter bullshit.

The bigger question was why did I want to be his friend, when he didn't even want to be mine.

Last night.. The way he looked at me.. I was sure he felt something for me, and there was no doubt about it I felt something for him.

Boy was I stupid.

"I should go.." I nodded, quickly getting up from the kitchen table to put on my coat.

"Fran.." He frowned.

"It's fine" I tried not to snap as I practically ran out of his front door with my purse at hand.

It was a 42 minute walk back home according to google maps. Maybe 30 if I ran. I really should have planned this out better. The streets were wet, and cold.

Perfect. Just perfect.

I knew better. Its laughable how I completely mistakened his signals for something totally different.

What a joke I am.

....................................................

When I got back home I felt nothing but pure anger. How was I so stupid? My feet ached, I was freezing, and I stepped in about 20 puddles on the way back.

The anger rolled off me in thick waves as I stomped down the now familiar street. I angrily unlocked the front door to our flat before pushing it open with a huff.

Finally.

I then made way for the couch, face planting into the soft material.

"Mmm" I moaned in exhaustion.

Those shoes.. Were definitely not made for walking.

"You're back" my mother yawned as she left her room. Walking towards the kitchen to pour herself a cup of coffee.

"Late night?" I joked, catching the dark circles under her eyes.

"Yesss" she hissed as she rubbed her temples. "What about you?" She said trying to hide her smirk as she took small sips from her steaming cup.

"It was disaster" I shook my head, "I don't even want to talk about it"

"What happened" she asked concerned, quickly taking a seat beside me.

"Nothing but my stupidity getting the best of me" I laughed, not wanting to worry her. "It's fine.. I'm fine"

"Mhm" she said rolling her eyes, "Fran.. I know you.. What's wrong?"

"Really it's nothing-" I was interrupted by my phone.

When I went to pick it up I frowned at the name that lit up the screen.

I mentally rolled my eyes.

It was a text message.

From Harry.

Should I open it? The anger that was still fresh in my mind told me not to. To just delete his contact entirely, but I opened it anyways.

I'm sorry.
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-Em