She's Gone and I'm Lost

17 | the Carlton residence

dedicated to tangles- because her writing is so fabulous. check out her works

17 | the Carlson residence

January 1st | 3:16 pm

It's late in the afternoon when the roads start to look familiar and we get closer and closer to our homes. No one has said much since I asked to switch spots with Marleen so that she could drive. So I ask a question that's been on my mind. "Are you W.C.?" I direct the question at Will.

"Well, those are my initials," Will responds. He took my questioning in stride. He didn't ask me why I wanted to know, he just answered.

"Yes, I know that, but on the note Alex gave me it has a quote followed by those initials. Is it you?"

"What's the quote?" he asked.

I reach into my coat pocket where I have been keeping Alex's notes and her star map. I pull out the first note and read, "It says, 'The truth is incontrovertible. Malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end, there it is.'" 

"That's not me," Will says, shaking his head.

"Then who is it?" I further.

"Winston Churchill," he responds.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What?"

"Winston Churchill. That's his quote."

"I don't get it," I admit. "Why would Alex leave us with that quote?"

"I guess she's trying to say that there's nothing you can change. The truth is that Alex is dead. You may hate that fact, and you may try to convince yourself that isn't true, but it will never bring her back to life." He said the words bitterly, making me wonder how long he had been thinking these things. He was probably speaking from experience. But I doubted that he had it as bad as I did. He had no idea that the reason I was sitting in the back seat instead of the driver's right then was because of Alex.

And I couldn't tell him the truth because I didn't trust him anymore.

I didn't have anyone to trust. Marleen and Will had both told others my secrets. And even though they were doing it for my own benefit, my trust in them was now nonexistent. I remembered how I had heard my parents talking in the kitchen a few nights before. How they had been acting secretive around me ever since. The only person I could think of was Stella. But Stella was only a child.

The truck pulled up to the beginning of a very familiar trail. We had finally arrived at Will's house. It hadn't snowed here, but even if it had I don't think the snow would have made it to the ground. The canopy of trees was too thick. Will turned in his seat, looking between Marleen and I. "Thank you," he said.

"Thank you for showing us the way," Marleen replied. I was looking at my feet, letting Marleen respond for me.

"Danika," Will says. I look up. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I nod. "Alone?"

I look at Marleen for help, but she's staring out the window in seemingly deep thought. "Okay," I say. Will opens his door before walking around the truck to open mine. He shoulders his backpack and nods in the direction of the trail. I start walking in that direction.

"I'm sorry," he says.

"Okay," I respond.

"I shouldn't have told Isaac and Naomi. You just have to understand that I only wanted to help."

"Okay."

"I never meant to do it, it just happened."

"Okay."