the month of freedom [c.h]

3.8 - LSD

THURSDAY - OCTOBER 18TH / LSD

Calum was physically pulling me out of his car. I was too tired, too angry and too pissed off to be doing this but Calum had insisted. He stuck out his bottom lip, cupping my cheeks, "Come on baby."

"I don't want to go in there." I roll my eyes, "I wanna stay with you."

He runs a hand through his hair and stops crouching down to walk around the car. His car door slams behind him and I smile, thinking I've succeeded.

"You haven't won," He says, pulling open the compartment next to his driving wheel, "I'm just giving you something to relax. Tonight you can have something better though."

"Sex?" I ask, cocking my head.

He laughs a little, shaking his head and passing me some weed. I smile up at him, rolling it out and lighting it up like he had taught me to do. It felt nice, being with him in plain sight while smoking this. I felt different. A good different.

"If you want sex then yeah-"

"I do." I nod, grinning.

He smirks, pushing himself over to kiss me on the lips. I smile into it before he pulls away, taking a drag from the drugs in his hand.

"Well, Michael was able to get some LSD too. It should be fun." He nods.

I nod, allowing the smoky air to consume me. I obviously hadn't done LSD before and I had the same feeling I've had for every single thing. I was nervous and excited but I was in safe hands with Calum. He knows what he's doing so I have no reason to be scared. Besides, LSD sounds good and I bet it feels good too.

"Now, you gotta go learn." Calum smiles. He seems more distant now.

I laugh loudly, rubbing my cheeks and throwing the leftovers onto the bottom of the car. Calum laughs with me, cupping my face and placing little kisses all over my face. 

I'm a mess when I get out of the car, stumbling up to the school gates. My heart sinks when I see Luke pushing Sarah against the wall, kissing her roughly. He's wearing something I've only seen him wear once and he's grown a beard since I last saw him. I try to move before Sarah see's me but it's no use.

Luke turns around and everything seems to be in slow motion. He smiles and then it fades and he's running a hand through his hair and Sarah is holding onto his shoulder. I roll my eyes and hold my chest, my heart hurts and I want Calum here more than anything. It feels like the people around me are watching us like they watch a movie and Luke is just staring, the same as me, as we both wait for something to happen.

Then his voice rings like bells in my mind and his body is shaking as he's walking towards me. I never knew his voice was as loud as it was and it's scaring me but I'm not moving.

"Do you think it's okay?" He shouts, still in slow motion, "Do you think it's okay to make us all worried? I thought you were dead, Frankie. Dead! Do you fucking hear me? We all thought you were hurt. I was searching for you through the streets before someone tipped me off about Calum. You gave us all up - for a boy like Calum! Are you crazy?"

"Luke, I..." I'm stuttering and I can physically feel some tears on my cheeks.

"So you want to cry, do you? Really? Frankie, why are you crying? What could you possibly have to worry about? Me? Yeah, I've had a shit ton to worry about. I've balanced a social life, school work while worrying for you. You've ruined so much! It's like you don't even care about me any more - or your family."

"That's not true!" I'm shouting now, my tears are angry and I'm filled with hurt, "You know that's not true! That's not me!"

"No." He shakes his head, pointing from my toes to my head, "This isn't you. This isn't the Francesca I've be best friends with for a billion years. Don't you get it? You hurt us all. You left us all. Where's your boyfriend now? Huh? I trusted you when you said you didn't have anything to do with him. But I put my trust in the wrong girl. How did this happen so fast? He's broken you!"