The Night I Realized

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Buzzing voices from the television.
I was looking.
But I lost my vision.
My mind was empty of everything
but full of you.
Nothing made sense as I forced myself to watch.
Their voices were in and out of my head.
But somehow you stayed.
Your name bounced within my brain's walls
As if they meant something more.
I stretched my legs
I tried to shake my head
Hoping your name will slip off my ears
But it just rattled me more.
Stopped to internalize what is happening
Shocked to feel my heart fluttering
As if at last I acknowledged a problem
I was denying to see.
Oh dear I wished I didnt.
Because since then
I remembered how it felt
When you smiled at me
Or how I feel when you call my name
When I look at you I feel grounded
I feel pinned down.
When you keep me up at night to keep talking
Oh the night
First accepting
I was long walking down this steep slope
Without a thought.
When I realized it
It was a different truth.
It made me walk further down.
Down a place for you.

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