Taming Life

Burning

When I had to leave her house that weekend, I cried. I tried so hard to hold it back but I just couldn't bear to leave her. I couldn't bear the thoughts that that could happen to her again. She cried too, her beautiful brown eyes brimming over with tears.

After a long goodbye, I made it down the stairs, after making Alex promise me that she'd tell me if something happened. I must have kissed her dozens of times. As I walked down the stairs, Alex's father walked past me. As soon as I saw him the hairs on the back of my neck stood up, and my automatic reaction was for my hands to clench into fists.

I had never hated somebody before. I wasn't that kind of person. I knew that hate was such a strong word to use. I didn't hate any of the people who'd bullied me in the past, or anyone who was famous for being horrible. Hate was a feeling reserved for somebody who really, utterly deserved it. And no one did like him. I hated him. I looked at his hands, and an involuntary shiver went through my body. Those hands had been used to beat my girlfriend. My innocent, beautiful girlfriend. I was glad that he didn't try to interact with me. I don't think I'd have been able to stop myself from punching him if he did. As soon as I was past him, I let out a breath I hadn't realised that I'd been holding. And my body relaxed a little, but not entirely. The only place I now felt comfortable in in that house was Alex's room. I turned around quickly when I reached the bottom of the stairs, and was relieved when I saw that he hadn't gone into Alex's room. She was safe.

Slowly, during that week, Alex cheered up more and more. She came over almost every night. I was glad to see her, away from that house. Slowly the bruises were fading. At school she'd used the excuse that she'd been babysitting and had a toy thrown at her. It made me sad to know the truth. She covered it up as much as she could. By Thursday with makeup you could barely see it anymore. The scars were still with her though, even if they weren't visible.

"Stay over this weekend. My parents won't be there, they're away all weekend." Alex said to me on Thursday night. I was going to stay over on Friday and Saturday, and I couldn't wait. I was glad that we could have our peace and quiet, and that I didn't have to worry about her dad.

On Friday we went back to mine quickly to get my things.

"Have a good weekend sweetheart. It's always good to see you, Alex." My mum said, as we left. She kissed me on the cheek and I hugged her. It was selfish to say that after everything Ale was going through, I appreciated my parents more than ever. They were such incredible people. I went and kissed my dad too before I left. He was asleep still from doing night shifts, but I just had to say bye to him. He was the best dad I could ask for.

"I'm so happy we're together all weekend." Alex said to me, as we were walking to her house.

"So am I. It'll be perfect, I'm so glad I won't have to say goodbye to you tomorrow. I hate saying goodbye." I said, and she smiled.

"Okay you're just too soppy!" Alex said, laughing. "But I agree. Life is always better when you're lying in bed next to me. And when my parents are half way across the country." I nodded. She was more relaxed already just because they were gone.

When we got in, I put my bag in Alex' room and went back downstairs again.

"Okay so I insist on cooking for you. We've never really had a date and you're always the one who's romantic with me. For once I want to be romantic with you. So go and sit in the living room and watch orange is the new black or something. I'll call you when it's ready." She said, kissing my cheek. I smiled and obeyed her, going into the living room.

I put on orange is the new black for a while and messaged Calum, who was having an English crisis over the essay he hadn't finished. I'd done it two days ago, and I attempted to help him. More and more I couldn't ignore the smell of burning coming from the kitchen, and then the smoke alarm started going off. I ran into the kitchen, and was met immediately by a cloud of smoke. It filled the room.

"Okay so maybe I'm not a cook." Alex said, standing in the middle of the room with her hair in a messy bun, looking flustered.

"Alex it doesn't matter." I said, laughing and hugging her.

"But I wanted to impress you." She said, pouting.

"Well you always impress me. We don't need a fancy dinner." I said, and she threw her cooking in the bin.

"Do you want to order takeaway?" She asked, and I smiled.

"Now we're talking romance!" I said, giggling and kissing her.

Half an hour later, we were eating Chinese food in the living room. Watching Alex get noodles on her chin made me giggle. I loved seeing the side of her that no one else got to see.

"Quit laughing at me, meanie!" She said, poking me.

"Let me think about it...no!" I said, and she stuck her tongue out. I stuck my tongue out back, and then proceeded to spill sweet and sour chicken on myself.

"That's karma, you clumsy dork." She said, and I mocked shock.

"That is just rude." I said, and we both laughed. When we finished we threw it away and then cuddled on the sofa.

"Alex?" I asked.

"Mm?" She said.

"Why do you want to impress me so much? I'm nothing special." I said. She shook her head.

"You're wrong. You're the most special thing in the world to me. And I get scared that you'll find someone better than me. I just want to be the best girlfriend for you. Because you're amazing to me, and you deserve the world. I want to give it to you." She said.

"I couldn't find anyone better than you. You're mine, you're stuck with me. And you are giving me the world, so shut up and kiss me." I said, smiling. She smiled too, and obliged. The kiss started off gentle, and sweet. I cupped her cheeks with my hands, and she had one hand on my hip, the other in my hair. It got more and more passionate, and deeper than we'd ever kissed. Feeling her tongue fighting against mine felt like electricity running through me.

She climbed on top of me and straddled me as we kissed. I could never get over how magical it felt, her lips against mine, the weight of her body on top of me. She placed her hand hesitantly at the bottom of my top, and I took it in mine and guided it underneath it, up my top and to my chest. She gently squeezed my breast, and I smiled into our kiss. This was exciting. Soon I was touching her too, and she felt amazing in my hand. My cheeks were turning red in the heat of the moment. After a few minutes, we both pulled away, smiling at each other.

"Can we talk, Hazel?" She asked, whispering, and I nodded.

"We can always talk. About anything." I said.

"It's just, I want to make it clear that I only want to go so far. I'm not ready for...everything. I will be one day, especially with you. I'm just not so sure yet. And I wanted to make that clear with you, in case you were thinking anything different. And it doesn't mean I don't love you, I just..."

"Al, stop. You don't have to explain yourself. I'm not totally ready either. I never even imagined you touching me like that, even over my bra," I blushed. "And we both have our boundaries. I'd be an awful person if I didn't respect yours. We'll only do things that we're both comfortable with. And if you're ever not comfortable, please tell me. Because I love you. I understand, completely and entirely. I'd never presume anything like this either. Thank you for being honest with me. I'm glad that we can talk like this." I said, and she smiled and leaned against me.

"I'm glad too." She said. We stayed like this for a little while, and twenty minutes later we were having a pillow fight. I won, even if Alex said otherwise. I loved our immaturity with each other.

I woke up the next morning, my arms wrapped around Alex. The light was turned on, and I blinked a few times to adjust my eyes.

"What the fuck is going on?!!" Someone said. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up immediately.