Taming Life

"I'm sorry."

Calum held me for the rest of lunch. We found a spot that was more private than the library, I didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't think Calum did either. We went to the back of the maths building and sat with our backs against it. Calum put his arms around me when I couldn't hold any of it in anymore and started to cry.

"I...can't...believe...her." I managed to say through sobs. I was so heartbroken; my chest was aching like it was ripping apart. I couldn't control the sobs that shook my body, as wave after wave of pain hit me like a tsunami, every second more excruciating than the last. I couldn't gather my thoughts together properly either. I was so hurt and mad and I felt so betrayed. And the worst part of all of it was that even though I was grateful to have Calum's arms around me, they were the wrong arms. I was aching for Alex's arms. But she wasn't mine anymore, and every time I realised that I felt my heart break a little more.

I was hurting more and more every second, but I was trying to control the crying. I didn't want to be this much of a mess in front of Calum.

"I'm sorry." I said, sitting up and wiping my eyes. Calum kept his arm around me.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for, it's okay." Calum said, and I looked up at him. He looked genuinely concerned for me, and he was shaking a little. No doubt from everything that had happened.

"So we're both a mess right now." I said, sighing.

"I don't think that either of us are messes. We're gay, that doesn't make us a mess. It makes us different. At least we both had the courage to admit the truth. Alex didn't. She's the one being a coward." He said, and I nodded.

"Exactly. Wait, how do you know that Alex is gay?" I asked.

"Because I know you. And I don't believe for even a second that you did this; that you tried to make out that she was gay when she wasn't, that you two had something when you didn't. I want to hear your side of all of this." He said. And so I sighed and told him everything. Of how I tutored her, and to begin with thought that I couldn't stand her. But that that wasn't the real her, that she opened up to me and I saw what she was really like. I told him about our kiss, about us getting together.

"We were together for a little while. And I thought we were happy, apart from issues with her dad. He's scary and abusive, that's what's lead to all of this happening. But now....now she's just lied to everyone and we're over and I can't believe that she'd betray me like that." I said, with a tear rolling down my cheek. I didn't know how I was going to make it through the rest of the day, or the days after this.

"She's a bitch, Hazel. You're such a good person and you deserve better." Calum said, and I hugged him.

"I don't know what I did to deserve a friend like you." I whispered as we hugged, and he hugged me tighter. Then we pulled apart and Calum wiped my cheek.

"It'll get easier, I'm telling you." He said, and he looked like he knew what he was on about.

"Have you ever been in love?" I asked, and Calum nodded.

"Yeah, I um, well I fell for this guy. I fell for him pretty hard, and he was my next door neighbour. We were mates, he'd come over or I'd come over and we'd just have a laugh. But I got the wrong idea. I tried to kiss him, and he pushed me away, wiping his mouth, saying he wasn't like that. I rushed home and it took me a while, but I got over him. The few months after that were horrible though, with my mum always asking why I was never next door anymore, and with me trying to get over him when he lived so close to me. Some people say that you can't fall in love with someone if you've never been with them, but you can. He moved to the other side of town about two months ago, and things have been easier ever since. I've never been in a relationship though. I'm starting to think that I should wait a while."