Taming Life

Costa and Tears

Alex was in school on Monday. We had English first period, and I first noticed her when everyone was waiting to go into their English class. She was different, for sure. She looked paler, and she wasn't wearing very much makeup, which was bizarre for her. I noticed the dark circles around her eyes, and she kept pulling her blazer sleeves down as if she felt self-conscious. She normally said a lot, joining in with her friends. But it didn't seem as if she was paying attention to the conversation in the slightest. Josh kept looking at Sophia and it made me feel uncomfortable. Alex didn't even notice. She was staring into space, biting her lip and twirling a lock of her hair. That was another thing. Alex and all of her friends spent ages on their hair in the morning. Right now it just looked like Alex had brushed her hair and quickly put it into a ponytail without any thought about it. If her friends were worried about her, they sure weren't showing it.

Everyone filed into class when Mrs Newman came to the door. She had some notes for Alex which she meekly thanked her for. Unlike most of the teachers, Mrs Newman didn't expect us to catch up at lunch times. She knew how hard it was to catch up after you'd missed lessons so she made it easier for us. She really was a good teacher. When we sat down Mrs Newman was talking to us about our next big assignment and Alex didn't seem to be paying attention at all. She looked like she was deep in thought about something. The teacher asked us to start planning an essay and Alex snapped out of her thoughts when everyone started rustling paper and getting out a pen.

"Um, Hazel? What are we doing? I'm sorry to ask." Alex asked, blushing. I had to feel bad for her. I explained what Mrs Newman had told us and even gave her a few ideas for her essay. I wanted to make it easier for her; I knew what it was like to not have a clue. Like on Friday when Lily had helped me. I remembered what my worst day at school had been like as well with no help.

My worst day at school had been when my uncle had died the day before, in a car crash. It had been so sudden, and I'd been incredibly close with my uncle. He was my dad's brother, and they'd been good friends. That day I was just in a sad fog. I was too sad to cry, which was probably better for me. I hadn't wanted anyone to ask me any questions, even though it probably would have been good to let my feelings out. I had missed my uncle so much; I didn't pay attention in any of my lessons. When I got home I'd burst out crying and been too sad to do anything. That night my brother had actually hugged me, for I think what had been the first time. When I'd looked in my school bag the next morning I couldn't figure out what had happened in any of my lessons, and I had such a hard time catching up.

Alex got on with her essay okay, but I couldn't help worrying about her. Why was no one else worried? Her friends didn't even seem to notice that something was clearly wrong. Calum caught my eye at some point during the lesson and made his fingers into "bunny ears" behind the girl next to him. It was the kind of thing everyone would do in primary school and it was lame, but it made me smile. He stuck his tongue out at me and I stuck mine back out at him.

At the end of the lesson Alex was in such a rush to leave that she dropped one of her notebooks on the floor. It opened onto a page and I tried not to look but I couldn't help it. There were just two sentences written on it: I'm so scared. When will this end?

I picked up the notebook, closed it and handed it to Sophia, who was just about to leave.

"This is Alex' notebook, would you give it to her?" I asked, and Sophia rolled her eyes and took the notebook without saying a word. I sighed.

"Bitches, huh? They think they're better than everyone." Calum said, winking at me. I giggled and we went separate ways. I spent the rest of the day in some sort of haze, wondering what was going on. I felt like I was getting too involved in something which was none of my business in the slightest, but I just couldn't help it. On the way home, I felt a tap on my shoulder and for some reason hoped that it was Alex, even though I had never seen Alex walk home alone before. It was Calum.