[[In these days i didnt wrote long essays, just short quotes or my thinking, but you gotta know that the less I write it means I feel better]]
Day 16:
How to know when you are fucked up? Your demons are gone for days and you miss them.. Its not that you want them its that you dont know how to live! Live a normal life? I dont know what that is! I know only 2 feelings:
Love (2%)
Demonic pain that makes you wanna cut (98%)
Its hard to explain, but even demons are better than emptiness! When you are empty you dont even know are you dead or alive! Pain is here just to remind you that you're still alive!
Day 17:
Its hard you know? Fighting to survive every fucking day... But its something i gotta do..
In life there is more difficulties:
-easy
-medium
-hard
-harder
-impossible
-nightmare
Well i got nightmare... But i got it cuz i am worth it and God knows i can do it!
Day 18:
"If we are born to die and we all die to live,
Then what's the point of living life if it just contradicts?
Cut me up and leave me dying"
"I never said I do not need help... I only said humans cannot help me"
I'd lie if i say i dont love this pain!
But id lie if i say i dont hate it!
Perfect combination of good and evil in it! Unexplainable... I just love it cuz its all i know, it never let me down! I can always count on it! Every night it be here to fill my dark and hollow heart
Whats that in me that makes me ask for it?
Is it the fear of beeing noone? Cuz id rather be depressive and twisting in pain than going mad on beeing noone...
Day 19:
"It killing me to see me this way"
Day 20:
"I'm going to paraphrase Thoreau here... rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth."
