Was It All a Lie?

Chapter 20

"I love you too, babe." Sam replied. "Everything you were feeling is normal and perfectly ok to be feeling....Now, um, there's something I've been meaning to discuss with you about what happened at Brandon's, but I've been too afraid of your response." He stated hesitantly before we went to sleep.

"What is it? You know we can talk about anything." I answered.

"Abaddon said some horrible things to you, we've talked about them already, but I don't know, I just, I guess, I want to be sure you know what's true and what's a lie." He vaguely explained.

"I don't get what you mean." I was so confused.

"She said that I allowed you to go into what I knew was a trap and that I know what you've done and really just want you to die. She then went on to say you're just my play thing and a discarded piece of meat that I don't care about. I saw the look on your face, and if only for a split second, you believed her." He explained. I then knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Sam, I-" I started but he continued and cut me off.

"She was right to some extent. I knew it was a trap, and I should have stopped you from going into that house. About the other things, what she said isn't true. You and I both know what she was getting at, and I still love you. I don't care that you did what you did. I love you just as much if not more than before. You're also not just a play thing and not a piece of meat to me. I've been a huge jerk and haven't always been treating you the way you deserve to be treated, but I care about you so much. I love you for who you are. I've been a jerk in the past about a lot of things, but I hope you don't think that means I think you are worthless." He explained.

"I knew it was a trap too. I went in knowing that. That is not your fault and she was wrong. About the other things, I know that, Sam. I know you love me, and I know you don't think of me as worthless or some stupid play thing. My only question is...." The tears brimmed on the edge of my eyes as I started to speak.

"What, babe? What's wrong?" He asked. All the fear and sadness was present in his voice. He sounded broken and that was a sound I was tired of hearing in the boys.

"How could you think I would believe any of that? I'm not that messed up to where I could ever even consider you mistreating or taking advantage of me. That's not even a possibility of something you could do. I have a lot that I've dealt with in the past, but I'm not so messed up to where I can't see how much you care about me. It hurts to hear you say you think I would believe any of that." I stated as a couple tears dropped down.

"Babe, I'm not saying you're messed up and I'm not saying I thought you believed all of it. I'm just saying if you did for some reason in the moment think it was true, that you should know it's not. I'm not trying to upset you. I absolutely hate seeing you cry. I love you so much, Miranda. I just wanted to make sure you know how I really feel about you." He replied.

"What do you mean how you really feel about me? You tell me you love me all the time." I asked. He really did tell me that constantly. What else could he mean? I asked myself.

"I know I do, but there's more to it than just that I love you. I don't always like having long sappy heartfelt conversations, but it requires one to explain what I mean." I was kinda confused, but let him continue.
"Miranda, the second you waved at me in that bar, my heart melted. So many amazing things happened in my life once you entered it. I've never been a happier person. You make me happy and bring me so much joy. You brought me a son, and he is the coolest and most amazing kid ever. You completed me. I was broken and hurting when you came around. I didn't want to be fixed at first, but once you were in my life, you fixed me more perfectly than I could have imagined. You made all the brokenness fall back in place. Yes, that sounds cheesy and all romantic movie scene type of thing, but it's true. Your love is what I needed, and there's times when I'm starting to fall apart again and all it takes is you being here for me, and I know I'm not alone. You are too great, and I hurt you far too much sometimes. Truthfully, I think you deserve better, but I try my best and you love me anyways. My point is, I don't just love you, Miranda. I need you. My very soul feels like it depends on you. I needed to make sure you know how I really feel about you so that if someone or something tells you that you're not worth it to me, or you are too big of a mess, you will know without a doubt it's a lie." He confessed.

"Sammy, that's the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I don't even know what to say. It's the same for me too." I started. I felt tears of happiness in the corners of my eyes as I spoke. "When I saw you in the bar, you saved me, Sam. You saved me from a meaningless life. You saved me from drinking myself to death for the 7th night in a row. You already know how horrible of a week that was for me with my husband and everything, but that day, I was so lost and broken that I knew if no one helped me that day, then there would be no helping me and I'd be stuck in my sucky life. You saved me, and you cared when no one ever did. You and Dean are just about the only people who actually care about me. I haven't gotten that very much in my life. Not since I was a little kid with my mom and my brother. You saved Ethan too. You gave Ethan a father he wasn't going to get otherwise. You saved my life from the demon and you brought me in despite your feelings for Jess. You proved your love from the start, Sam. I need you as much as you need me. There was not a single time, you know, other than when I was in the basement, but we got through all that, where I truly doubted you loved me or thought you were taking advantage of me or hurting me in any way. I don't want you to think I ever did. I love you and you are the reason my life is the way it is and you are the reason I am whole again." I explained, trying to avoid shedding the few tears I still felt at the edges of my eyes.

"I love you baby." He stated with happiness and love shown in his eyes. I stared into his eyes as he said it, taking in the gorgeous hazely brown that made my heart melt with every second I looked into them. I knew he was expecting a response, but it was as if I was falling so hard for him all over again that I couldn't force any words from my mouth. Instead, I placed my lips on his in a sudden burst of passion and he kissed back with equal force.

Once we regretfully pulled away, I replied. "I love you too, Sam." He gave me another quick kiss on my forehead before I snuggled into him for the rest of the night.