Was It All a Lie?

Chapter 6

~Sam's POV~

I had a weird dream a few days after Dean and Miranda left. It felt as if it had happened before, but I didn't remember it. I was in the bunker which I hadn't been in for years. I was in some bedroom where there was a queen bed, and a TV. I took in the details of the room. The walls were beige with crown molding at the ceiling. The bed was made of dark, stained wood, and I started to wonder whose room I was in. Suddenly, Miranda came in. I was sitting on the bed. Words just came out of my mouth and not in my control. "Hey babe."

"Don't you babe me." She said angrily back. We went back and forth. Apparently I didn't leave on a hunt so I could try to keep her son Ethan safe, and that made Dean get hurt. I was so confused. Words and emotions rushed through me. Feelings of regret, of love, of fear, of sadness, and they felt foreign like they weren't really mine, but I knew they were. Suddenly I woke up. This continued for days. It was almost a week before I finally brought myself to believe what was really happening.

"Maria?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"I need to talk to you about all the stuff with my brother and my wife." I wanted to discuss thing with her since the whole situation required her to be involved.

"Ok. Let's talk." We sat down on the couch. "What's up? Did they have news for you?" She asked calmly.

"No. I've been having dreams, and I think I'm remembering things from being with her. Like big fights and things we discussed and stuff like that." I replied carefully. I didn't want to make her mad.

"Are you maybe just coming up with stuff because you feel bad?"

"No. These are actual memories. Words and feelings flow through me in these dreams. I have no control over them." It was truthfully a weird experience. I was hoping she wouldn't ask about the emotions because I didn't feel capable of telling her I felt love towards Miranda in the dreams.

"Maybe you should talk to them then. I told you I'd be supportive of you with this."

"I'll talk to Dean first." She nodded and I stepped into my room and called Dean. We set it up one week that I was going to help him pay for international calling since I could afford it. That way we could stay in touch.

~Dean's POV~

I was getting a call from Sam. "Hey Sammy."

"Hey Dean. Are you alone? I need to talk to you about something." I was nervous. He sounded anxious and I had no clue what he was calling about.

"Yeah. She's at the store. What's up? You sound worried."

"I'm starting to remember things." He said as calmly as he could even though I could sense that it was eating away at him.

"About Miranda?" I asked

"Yeah. Im getting dreams. I'm remembering talking to her and I'm getting waves of emotion in me when I'm in these dreams, but the emotion doesn't totally feel like mine even though I know it is." He tried to explain. It generally made sense but was still a crazy sounding experience.

"Does that mean you're coming back?"

"That's why I wanted to talk to you. You needed to know I'm remembering things, but I'm remembering bad stuff, Dean. I'm remembering fights, and only fights. I hurt her far too much when I was with her. I'm not good for her, Dean. She deserves someone to love her, not some jerk like me who makes her cry and feel bad about herself. She deserves better." I couldn't help but feel bad for Sam. He was remembering only the bad when there was far much more good to count.

"Sam, you didn't fight all the time. You loved her and she loved you. You fought sometimes, but you always worked through them. She's crazy about you. She loves you and only you. She and I have gone to the bar sometimes recently, and she's been hit on by so many guys, but she turned them all away for you because she kept hope that you would come back. You're still her husband too. You can't forget that. Besides, she still loves you and if you were ever that mean to her, she wouldn't want you back, and I wouldn't want you back in her life either." I felt such a strong duty to be protective of Miranda especially with Sam gone and I would never let a jerk into her life. She had been through too much. Sam didn't know that and that was not something I could convince him of through the phone.

"I'm sorry, Dean. I can't go back and hurt her. I just can't."

"Just think about it. Please." I begged.

"Ok. I'll think about, Dean. Will you promise me something though?" He asked.

"Yeah, anything." I replied skeptically.

"Don't tell Miranda about any of this. It's just gonna hurt her more."

"Sam-"

"I mean it. Don't tell her I'm remembering things, don't tell her anything from this phone call. Please. I'll tell her everything if I'm ever able to." He was really not ok with me telling her despite the fact she needed to know.

"Alright. I won't tell her."

"Thanks. I hope you guys are doing ok."

"We're hanging in there. How are you and Maria?"

"We're good. I got a promotion at work which is cool, and Maria is doing really well too."

"That's good. Oh. Miranda got back. I'll talk to you later."

"Ok. Bye." I walked out of my room and helped her put the groceries away. Miranda was calmly putting the groceries away, but it seemed too calm to me. It was less like she was truly calm, but more like she was contemplating everything.

"You ok?" She asked

"Yeah. Why?" I didn't think I seemed upset.

"I don't know. You just seem a little off."

"I'm ok. Sam called and said hey."

"How's he doing?"

"He's good. He got a promotion at work so he's happy about that. Nothing much else."

"Good." She said. I was glad she couldn't tell I was hiding something. I wanted to tell her, but Sam was right- it would just hurt her. She was finally starting to be ok again.

She was ok for a while until she spoke up one day. "Have you heard from Sam again or found any more info recently?" She asked after a couple weeks.

"No. Sorry."

"It's ok. I was just asking." We were silent for a moment.

"Miranda, I need to tell you something. Sam told me not to tell you because it would hurt you more, but I don't like keeping it from you." I blurted out. I didn't want to hurt her, and I knew it would, but I couldn't take it anymore.

"What is it?" She asked with a tone of fear and sadness.

"Sam's starting to remember stuff."

"He's what?! Why didn't you tell me?!" She screamed.

"He told me not to tell you. I told him I wouldn't. He doesn't want to hurt you, Miranda. He's remembering stuff, but right now, only the bad memories are what he remembers. He's having dreams and he remembers a bunch now. He's remembering all your fights and arguments but nothing else. He told me he doesn't want to come back because you deserve to be loved by someone who isn't a jerk like him." He was wrong about how he treated her and just him saying that would hurt her immensely, I knew that, but I also felt she needed to know.

"You should have just told me, Dean." She said sadly. "So he's never coming back?"

"I know. I just didn't know if I could. I didn't want to hurt you. And I don't know. He might someday, but I have no clue if that day will ever come." I was hoping he would. She deserved someone to be there for her, to treat her right, and love her. Sam was that person.

"Well I hope he does. Thanks for telling me."

"Me too. Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"If Sam tells me something or I find out something that might make you upset, do you want me to tell you right away? I just don't want to be the one who hurts you." I asked. I hated being the middleman who is the one hurting her all the time.

"Yes. Just tell me. If it upsets me, it's not your fault and I'm not gonna be mad at you for telling me."

"Ok. I just wanted to check. I just hate seeing you hurt."

"I know, Dean."