A Little Bit Like Heaven

Chapter 26: Dark Amidst the Light

CAROLINE

I rested my head against Zayn's chest and sighed contentedly like a satisfied kitten. The reception had been magical, especially the part where Harry's good friend Ed Sheeran surprised us all to sing my two favorite songs 'Give Me Love' and 'Kiss me'. I remembered my heart swelling as Zayn grabbed my hand and asked me to dance with him. And for a whole three minutes we danced alone under the stars seemingly unaware of the eyes around us and the few cameras clicking away.

"It's wonderful." He'd said.

"The what?" I asked. I rested my head on his chest and felt his heart beating loudly.

"Everything." He whispered.

Tonight I was a princess and Zayn was my prince. I didn't know why I said no to him in the first place. After fighting for so long not to fall it felt good to take the plunge. It was refreshing but also scary, the doubt and the insecurities were still there even though in everyone's eyes I was perfect.

I wasn't vain, nor did I need anyone to tell me I was beautiful all the time, I didn't care if my hair was a mess when I woke up in the morning or if my make up was still fresh after a grueling day, no I was insecure because I was emotionally handicapped.

I feel like I'll disappoint Zayn somehow, that I couldn't love him enough for him to stay but I was more afraid that I'll be a bad mum to my unborn angel. I was more afraid now than before knowing that whatever happened I won't be able to live without Zayn.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Zayn smoothed my hair back against my forehead.

It was silent inside the car except for our breathing and the silent purr of the engine as it rode off into the distance. We were off to Hawaii for a tropical escapade for our honeymoon, somewhere the both of us would enjoy and be inconspicuous and incognito at the same time. I looked up at Zayn and debated whether to tell him my troubled thoughts.

"You'll need a dollar for that." I said and his face turned serious.

He sat up straighter and brought me closer to him, and then with a troubled voice he said. "What is it? Is something amiss?"

I could see the alarm on his dark brown eyes as he searched my own for any kind of trouble. Then I realized that it was wrong for me to drop this on him on our honeymoon. It was my problems, my musings, and my insecurities that troubled me, Zayn didn't have to know and even if he tried he couldn't help me. It was something that only I could solve.

"No, nothing like that. I was just thinking about our house." I smiled thinking of the distraction quickly. Zayn visibly relaxed his stance and sank lower on the back side of the limousine.

"Oh." He said casually.

He looked equally as stunning with a casual button down blue shirt and some cut off beige shorts as he did in his tux. As for me, I changed out of my wedding dress and into a white halter top sundress that flowed to my mid thigh. We were already in vacation clothes.

"Did you change your mind?" He asked. I remembered the time when I brutally turned the idea down and I hated myself for being so cold then.

"Yes, as I did with so many things about you." I traced his lips and brought it closer to mine. "I'd like to move in with you and raise our child there." Zayn smiled and kissed me thoroughly taking his time.

"I should tell you though, we're working on our third album so I'll be pretty busy the next few weeks after our honeymoon, you know? I'll be making up for lost time." He said cautiously as if he expected me to protest or jump out of the car.

"That's okay, I'll keep myself busy somehow." Zayn's grin grew wider.

"Don't worry as soon as that's over we'll have a whole two months to ourselves." Zayn smiled.