Naturally

Naturally (A Jacob Black Fanfic) -22-

-Marisol Huron-

I felt like a teenager again and not in a good way, seeing as I loathed my teenaged years, not that they even counted as a teenage experience. I grew up too soon, I thought in disdain.

All day I’ve been cooped up in this room and I can’t help but feel a sense of déjà vu. Of course, I’d rather stay up here than cohort with Jacob and his girlfriend so it was my choice but still, I can’t help but feel restless. I could’ve ran a while, the idea occurred to me, but it was down pouring.

And as much as I hated sitting around, I hated rain more. I didn’t like the cold feeling that came with it and how it wrapped around when you’re already uncomfortably with clothes sticking to your skin tightly. I decided against the run simply because I didn’t want to put myself in any more frustrating, embarrassing situations.

So to pass time, I’ve been watching CSI: Miami but there are only so much re-runs you can watch before going crazy. After muting the TV, I chucked the remote at the foot of bed and re-opened my laptop. I had limited amount of work that I filled out already so I had no idea what I was going to do. Deciding I should just check out what Taylor or Kate have been up to so I logged in to Facebook, popping up my iTunes in a different Window.

Taylor was vacationing in Spain with her boyfriend and recently posted a picture of a sunset. A grim smile slid onto my face. I let out a long sigh and my restlessness got the best of me. I swung my legs off the edge of the bed and I forced myself to wander from the warmth of a thick comforter.

I was slow to open the door and when I did, I looked carefully around the pitch black hallway. I didn’t want to be ambushed by either Olivia or Jacob. I didn’t want to them to get an idea that I was even remotely social. I wanted them to keep their distance. Not that they tried to pry me out.

Olivia was certainly persistent by offering me drinks downstairs now and then but with a blunt no from me, she’ll always retreat. I only seen her four times total today, 2 to check my stitches and injuries and the other few times to try to converse with me, most of the time I would systematically nod until she achieved the point that I wasn’t in the mood to talk. That’s what she thought. I could talk. I just didn’t want to talk to her. What was there to chat about? ‘Hey, I’m the ex and you’re the present girlfriend. How’s Jacob been?’ Really, what is there to be civil about? I’m not supposed to be barging in on her life and here I was, feeling like the ‘other woman.’

Jacob rarely banged on my door. I don’t know why he was avoiding me but either way it was less stress on my part.

But sometimes it made me nervous as well. It was a blow to my self-confidence because, for some silly reason, I thought at one point it was because I was a nuisance, and in truth I was, and that I wasn’t worth his attention, reminding me of the reason I left here in the first place years ago. The more I thought about it, the shittier I felt. So I did my damnedest to dispel it from my head hours ago. At least I didn’t have to worry about running into Jacob.

I trotted down the steps and into the blinding light of the kitchen where thank goodness no one was in. I was quick to skim the refrigerator and snag a red Gatorade. I also plucked a muffin off the counter top and took a quick bite while rushing up the stairs and back into my solitary room.

Jacob Black

“Is Marisol always this way?” Olivia asked.

I shook my head but kept my face hidden under the hood of my truck so she couldn’t see my tired expression.

“She isn’t?” Olivia’s voice softened to a quiet whisper. “Is it because of me?”

I spread my arms over the engine and grasped the metal sides of my trucks exterior.  I couldn’t answer her question because I wasn’t so sure of it myself. I had assumed it was because I had broken her heart but even from what little I have seen of her, I wouldn’t believe one heart break could have killed her inside. She was so withdrawn from life, practically a walking zombie, like Bella had been. But there was a difference between the two: Bella was nothing, as if her soul was ripped out of her. With Marisol, she was still there but in choppy pieces. Like Leah had once been, you only saw all of her when she was angry, seething, and full of rage. Everything else in her was shielded and guarded by this very emotion. She wouldn’t allow anyone in. A new theory was drawn after what had happened four days ago, when I saw what she had become.