Naturally

Naturally (A Jacob Black Fanfic) -25-

Within the four days she’s been with me, not once had I seen her cry. Sometimes I thought, even hoped she had whenever she want out on her walks, to verify she was indeed in there, that she was capable of feeling something. Even something for me, if that was possible.

“Just sign the damn divorce papers!”

I could tell from outside her door that it was coming from the TV. I knocked on her door lightly but the volume didn’t decrease, nor did it increase, as if she didn’t acknowledge me. At least she wasn't blocking me out.

I stepped inside, peeking to the left to the bed where she sat on the edge of, cross legged. She turned her head with an indifferent expression on her face. If she were to look at me that way when we first met, I would be ecstatic because that meant more of a chance for me, if we were on an even note. But now, when she gave me that look, it worried me. It meant I still meant nothing to her. 

“What are you watching?” I tried to converse with her. She just shrugged.

“Sweet Home Alabama, it’s on some random channel.”

I wasn’t that big on movies and from the short scene I was watching, I knew I wouldn’t have like this specific one, something about a pretty blonde arguing with a man in the driveway. He was just smirking at her frustration.

I quickly changed my attention from the small screen back onto Marisol. She had turned her head back around so I was only looking at her hair. It was soft, smooth, and seemed to gleam in a blue tint in the dim light provided by the TV. I wanted so much just to run my hand through it, to curl it around my finger.

She would then look up at me with her wide, adorable oak eyes under her long lashes that gave her that innocent flicker. Her lips would curls up and a small smile would develop, before I cover it with my own set of lips.

I shook my head, as if to shake the short-lived fantasy out of my head. Those were long forgotten, more like forbidden memories. Those were the days we were naïve and didn’t care about anything. I was just starting to cope with my new abilities while she had just opened up to me about her home troubles. We were so close and so honest with each other. Our bond was the strongest back then.

I let out a dismayed sigh just thinking about it. It was futile to day dream about it when I was nowhere closer to getting back to that point than I was when I left her to walk home alone in the rain. My heart fell thinking about how that’s what she’ll always remember me by, that’s her last memory of me.

“What’s it about?” I asked.

She shrugged again. “I don’t know. I missed the beginning. Something about this girl getting married to this rich guy but she needs to divorce her high school sweetheart first.”

I only nodded my head, not really interested and I’m sure she knew that by the tone of my voice. I just wanted to hear her voice, civil or not. I’m been sober on it for so long.

“Alright,” I stood there awkwardly. I didn’t know if I should leave or wait for her to tell me to. I was always hoping that maybe miraculously she’ll be generous enough to spare a minute just to talk. It doesn’t have to be serious. She and I could talk about the dull weather for all I care. As long as we are together within an arms distance. Maybe it could develop into something more.