Naturally

Naturally (A Jacob Black Fanfic) -33-

It was so wrong, I though later on. I shouldn’t have messed with him. I shouldn’t have given him any ideas. I’m such a terrible person. Lying about it to Jake said much more about the situation than the kiss itself. It was wrong and Seth and I both know that.

Yet during that moment, everything felt so right. His hands wrapped around my tiny waist while I stretched mine out to wrap around his neck that was much higher than my own height, even when I was elevated on the counter top. Our lips stayed connected for a few moments before his tongue dared to ask for permission into my mouth; I didn’t decline the offer. One moment everything was innocent, gentle, but then kids turned into adults. No longer were we teenagers. No, we were grown adults in adult situations. His hands weren’t small and were anxious to explore every inch of me while I succumbed to my own selfish desires. I let him do what he want while I indulged myself, too. I tried to mold myself as much as I could with his shape, so we were as close as we could be. I wanted his arms all around me and to never let me go. It felt so good to be wanted, to be desired and appreciated.  

But at some point we needed to face reality aka Jake. During our intense climax were his hands were tugging at the hem of my shirt, the door conveniently opened. We couldn’t separate fast enough. Seth stepped back wide enough to give us a 3 feet distance but we were still trying to regain our breaths and composure. My eyes were wide, so were his. I could only imagine what it looked like to Jake. We were kids caught with hands in the cookie jar.

Of course, we only separated when we heard the door open, so he didn’t see our embrace but the evidence was obvious in the air and on our faces. We did something very bad. But I didn’t think Jake would know. He couldn’t think fast enough to connect the dots, I had hoped.

Jake finally stepped under the arch of kitchen and stared at the both of us, confused. His face contorted, brows knitted together, trying to put together the few pieces of the puzzle but not everyone can think that fast.  

“Uh,” Seth awkwardly started, “I’ll see you later Merris. Give me a call.”

We nodded at each other respectively but we knew this wouldn’t be the end of it. I would most certainly call him later tonight.

Jake watched him suspiciously as he left the house is hurry, embarrassed of course. I was certainly, too. My blush was redder than my wine. I calm my nerves down I picked up my glass and took in a long sip and avoided Jake’s gaze. My heart was beating furiously and I was beyond scared.

“Merris,” Jake started slowly and my breath caught in my throat. “Are you alright?”

Was I alright? Yes, I was fine. Actually no, I wasn’t just fine. I was happy, excited, and… Too many emotions to describe but they were all because of Seth. Seth made me feel this way. But was I ready to face the consequences? Was I ready to face all my oppositions? Including Jake and the rest of the pack?

I know how they feel. I was meant to be with Jake because of the stupid imprinting process. And even then, they didn’t want me to “hurt” him anymore, like everything was my fault. They certainly would be peeved if I jumped from Jake to Seth. Oh, that would be the worlds end, I thought sarcastically. If Jake didn’t deserve me, I shouldn’t deserve Seth. Jake was the only to be concerned about, huh. His happiness only matter, not mine. This stupid double standard really pissed me off. If he couldn’t have me, no one could. That’s how it was like. It all came down to Jake.

I scowl planted onto my face and I turned to face him for the first time. All this time I’ve been trying to avoid, hoping the less time I spent time with him, no more troubles would arise, that I could run from them. But no one can run from the truth, not even a professional like me. My emotions began to bubble up as I began to sort through my thoughts. What was reasonable or not to say? Screw it. Just let it all out, I persisted myself. All these years you wanted him to have it, to suffer the pain you did, and to let him know how much he hurt you. But would he care? He didn’t back then. Why would this time be different?