Snow

Chapter Twelve

"Who was Tommy?" That was the first thing I was asked backstage. I looked at Cody with a sad smile, running a hand through my hair.

"He was one of my best friends back home. Laura's boyfriend too, but we'd both known him since I was a kid." I didn't look at anyone as I reached for a beer and took a long swig. My phone rang before anyone could speak and I smiled a little when I saw Laura was calling. "Hey, L. What's up?"

"I saw your performance tonight. It was being streamed live online, and I watched it. You were amazing - I can't believe you did that. It was frickin' beautiful." She sounded genuinely disbelieving and I couldn't help but smile.

"Thanks, L." I stepped away from the others so they wouldn't hear me talking to her. "I've been a mess for the past couple of months and I just want to get past it." I told her, trying to put it lightly.

"I know you have. There've been way too many pictures of you crying online. And God, Leighla, you're seriously fucking skinny. Have you been eating?" I gulped at her words. I hadn't wanted her to know how bad it was.

"I'm trying to get back on my feet now, that's all there is to it. Have you? How much do you weigh now?"

"I've put on a pound. It's been difficult, but I'm starting to eat. I just... I don't want you to fall down the same hole I have. You've always been the strong one, Leighla. Don't let that change now." I bit my lip at her words - I didn't feel strong. But I was going to be - I had to be.

"Now who's the psychologist." Was all I said, making her laugh a little. "But seriously though, I'm glad you're putting weight back on. I plan to do the same. I only lost about eight pounds, but I want them back on. I'm frickin' stick thin." I told her, sitting down on the edge of the couch and pulling out a cigarette.

"I know you are, I've seen the pictures. Someone uploaded a picture of you online today. You're in the bus' bathroom and you're just in your underwear. You look like me, Leighla. At the start, anyways. It was fucking terrifying." I froze up at her words, remembering the way I'd looked this morning. Someone had been watching me?

"Someone did what? What picture?" I asked, jumping to my feet and tugging on my hair. "Send me the link."

"I will. Look, I'll talk to you later, okay? I have work to do. Just... please be okay, Leighla. I can't lose you too." My panic died down a little at her words and my voice was soft and full of forced lightness when I next spoke.

"You won't, L. I'm not going anywhere. You can't get rid of me that easily." She laughed a little and promised to send me the link before hanging up the phone.

*

The picture was terrifying - just like Laura had said. Apparently, someone had been watching me from the bus' window that morning. My hands were shaking as I looked at the picture - the photographer had taken it at just the right angle to make me look covered in sharp, jutting angles and not a single bit of flesh. Thank God they'd taken it with me in my underwear rather than in nothing at all, but I could still feel the anger boiling beneath my skin.

"This is fucking sick." I all but yelled, clenching my hands into fists and struggling to stop myself from throwing my phone across the room. Tia looked over to me, but they all seemed to think better than to see if I was okay. Except for, of course, Ashley.

I knew Andy would be pissed off by him coming over, but I couldn't stop him. And, at that point, I didn't really care enough to give his anger a second thought. It wasn't like he cared enough to see if I was okay himself. "What is it?" Ash asked, coming over to see what was on my phone. When he saw the picture, he sucked in a breath and stepped away with wide eyes. "Is that real?" He breathed.