Snow

Chapter Eighteen

"Okay, this is the dress." Tia said, jumping and clapping her hands excitedly. I just scrunched my nose up, looking at my reflection. "You don't like it?" She sounded disappointed by my lack of enthusiasm, but I was unsure of how I felt about the dress. It was pretty, but I couldn't help but think it looked better on the mannequin.

"I don't know... It's nice and everything but it doesn't look so great on me." I said, my voice quiet as I studied the dress. It was fitted at the top, with jewels lining the neckline and barely any real detail other than the pleats in the skirt. "No, this isn't it. It doesn't feel right." I decided, itching to take it off. Tia sighed, clearly disappointed as she unzipped the back and helped me pull it over my head. "Thanks for coming today, Ti." I said softly, meeting her eyes in the mirror.

"It's fine, Leggy, I'm happy to help. Come on, put on some normal clothes - I'm sick of all the white." I laughed as she grinned, throwing my jeans at me as I pulled on my shirt. We'd been shopping alone for over an hour, and I'd tried on all of three dresses. Not a single one had looked right, and I couldn't help but feel exasperated. How long did it take to find a damn wedding dress?

"I'd say let's get lunch, but I won't fit into any of the dresses if I eat a bite." I joked, pulling my shoes back on and glancing up at where she stood. Her easy smile had fallen into a frown, and she looked worried. "What? What's wrong?"

"You're not self conscious because of the... the baby, are you?" She said the word 'baby' as though it was taboo, and I cringed at the look on her face. "I'm sorry, but I know you've been going to the gym a lot more nowadays. You've also been wearing looser clothes and commenting on your weight more since the, you know, the thing happened." She looked worried about my response and I sighed, trying not to be annoyed by her avoidance of the word 'miscarriage'.

"Well, I put on weight during the pregnancy, and I'm trying to get it back off. I'd rather not be fat on my wedding day, thank you." It wasn't that I was insensitive to the topic of the miscarriage, just that I became almost numb every time the subject aroused. "And yes, before you ask, I am eating - I'm just going to the gym more often now." She nodded, relaxing slightly at my reassurance. "Now come on, let's go to HotTopic.

With a determined nod, she jumped to her feet and followed me out of the changing rooms. "Yeah, I could do with a new pair of jeans." On our way out, I thanked one of the store's workers for her time and all but ran to the shop. I was desperate to see some clothes that weren't white.

*

"Okay, I'll take these please." I said with a smile, placing my pile of clothes on the cashier's desk. He nodded and began to scan the tags, stopping when he came across a band shirt with my face across it. He looked up in shock, his mouth wide open as he glanced from the shirt to my face and then back again. I just laughed, gesturing for him to continue. "How much is it?"

He shook his head, handing me the bag without saying anything. When I raised an eyesbrow, he blushed a little. "Don't worry about it - your face is on the shirt, you can have it for free."

"I can't take this. Here." I put fifty dollars on his desk, shaking my head as he attempted to give it back. "Nope. Just take the money, Craig." I said, reading his name off of his name tag. When he tried to give me the money again, I just rolled my eyes and stepped away. "Have a nice day." With a smile, I headed over to Tia and the crowd surrounding her. "Ti, what's going on?" I yelled, ducking out of sight.

"Fans - get your butt out here, girl." Her voice came from within the crowd and I stood up straight, instantly attracting the attention of half the crowd. "Come on guys, we'll sign outside. Leggy will follow us out." She caught my eye and shot me a wink as she led them all outside of the shop. With a sigh, I followed and stuck a huge grin on my face - it wasn't exactly fake, but I needed to get back to looking for a dress. The wedding was fast approaching.