Snow

Chapter Thirty

I watched as Andy took Willow into his arms, tears in his eyes as he hugged her to his chest. "You'll be okay, sweetie." I heard him murmur, his eyes closed as he kissed the top of the little girl's head. "You'll be okay without that f- mess of a dad." I smiled a little as he corrected his language before swearing in front of a six-month old baby.

"Wait- Andy, what's happening with Jinxx? Is he not gonna look after her?" He looked sad as his eyes fell on me and I held back tears. "He's not." Andy shook his head as I bit my lip, putting Willow down onto the play mat. "Why?"

"He 'can't deal with a kid without Sammi', quote and unquote." I let out a groan and ran a hand through my hair. "We'll look after her - she made us godparents after all." I nodded and went over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and burying my head in his chest. "How're you feeling, Lala?"

"I'm not." He looked surprised by my answer and I shook my head as I looked up at him. "I'm not feeling. If I let myself feel, I'll break down. I can't look after Will if I can't look after myself." He swore under his breath and pulled me closer, kissing the top of my head. "I've missed you so much." I told him, pressing my lips to his neck with my eyes closed.

"I've missed you too, Lala. I'm so sorry I couldn't be here sooner." I just nodded, letting out a deep breath before turning to face Sammi's parents.

"I haven't offered you anything to eat or drink yet - sorry about that. Can I get either of you anything?" Grace was sobbing into her husband's chest, and Henry had tears streaming silently down his cheeks as they listened to our conversation. "I'll get some tissues?" I sounded awkward and uncomfortable even to my own ears, but they both released slightly strangled-sounding laughs at that, and Grace looked up at me with a small, grateful smile.

"That's be lovely, Leighla."

*

After fetching a box of tissues for the crying couple, I left them with Andy and went upstairs to call Jinxx. "Don't say a word, just listen." I said before he could even consider speaking. "Willow is your daughter - you are her father. If you love Sammi, if you ever loved her, you'll love your daughter enough to look after her." I let out a deep breath and closed my eyes, pressing my forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. "The poor girl has already lost one parent, Jinxx. Surely you can't be cruel enough to let her lose the other?"

"You're already doing so much more for her than I ever could." His voice was rough with tears and I felt one of my own slip down my cheek. "You and Andy can care for that little girl in the way she needs - I can't, Leighla." I could feel my heart breaking - for him and for Sammi and for me and for Willow.

"At least let her know you. I can't raise her to believe we're her real parents - it wouldn't be fair to her. You'll be around her whole life, Jinxx, and she needs to know who you really are to her. I won't lie to her about her parentage, no matter what."

"I'll still see her; I just don't want to raise her. Please, Leighla, raise my little girl. I don't care if she hates me for it, and I know that you will - and you both have every right. Just please, Leigh, don't let her hate herself and don't let her hate Sammi." My tears continued to fall freely and I couldn't hold back the sob that wracked my body at his words.

"I promise, you fucking bastard. I promise to raise Will like my own, because I love her. It's not for you; it's for Sammi and for Willow - your wife and daughter." I hoped he felt guilty as hell as I hung up the phone, swiping at the tears as they fell from my eyes, and headed back downstairs.

*

'Are you going to adopt Willow?' The question, asked by Ella, sparked a debate between Andy and I. Andy wanted to adopt her, seeing as there seemed little-to-no chance that Jinxx would be changing his mind on this. I, however, didn't want to take the little girl any farther from Sammi than she already was.