Chapter 16.

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Kians POV After Maddie left
"Hey guys today I'm going to be talking about something very personal. Well, no one knows except for my mom." I said weakly smiling at the camera.
"So let me just say this might be triggering for some of you so please I'm begging you stop watching I don't want anything to happen to you. "
"I remember the bullying started in about the fifth grade. I was in football and all the guys would pick on me because I couldn't ran as fast and other dumb shit but at the time it was like they had complete control over my life. In sixth grade everything died down. But once the homework from middle school started coming in I would go home  and cry. I wouldn't know why I was crying my toes would start curling my face would turn red. It was so bad. In ninth grade I was finally in high school that's when all the bullying ended. All the girls 'wanted' me. So I started simply not caring about what everyone was saying sleeping with a lot of girls. But a couple days ago I started crying like sobbing and I went in to the bathroom and I started cutting my wrists. I-I-I don't know why i did it......" I said and started crying. I was crying because I knew I was lying.i was lying because I knew exactly why I did it.  "If you couldn't tell I have anxiety attacks and panic attacks. Guys I think I'm  going to go now. I love you guys I really do." I said and shut the camera off. I obviously left a lot of my feelings out.i didn't want to say to much because I know A LOT OF kids from school are going to see this. I also didn't want to seem like a girl. I'm really scared for Madison. I know how important her education is. I'm kinda sad because Calum and the baby are going to be the best part of her life and there will be no space for me. I know Calum will be there for the baby, he isn't that bad. But it f he is ant I'm going to treat that baby like it's mine.
"Kian." I heard Izzi cry.
"What's wrong?" I asked my crying sister.
"Grandma passed away." She said.
I knew grandma was sick. I went to the hospital several times a week and each time I went it looked like she  was getting better.
"Are you serious?" I asked. She just nodded. I then started sobbing. I was so close to her. I regret not going to her house more often. I didn't even get to say my goodbyes.
"I love you Kian." Izzi said then hugged me.
"I love you too." I said hugging her back. We layed on her bed crying and laughing about all the good times we all had.  Once mom got home we all comforted each other. At about 12:00 A.M we decided it was time to get some sleep.
I decided that I was going to delete the video I did earlier and make a new one.
Video on top
I had to stop several times because I kept crying.
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Hey guys sorry this was so short. I don't know how Kians grandma passed away so just made it up. I understand if you think that it's disrespectful but that's just you're opinion. I updated on my other Kian Lawley fanfic called Always. Please read and vote on that one I put so much effort into that one so please check it out. Thank you in advance. Please vote,comment, and follow.
Stay
  Blessed
         Desi F. 🤘🏼👑🚀🗽

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